Sarah Palin Crapalong

Best Quote I Heard All Day
As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?--Sarah Palin

I can't help myself. I haven't had this much fun during a presidential campaign, ever. Glued to the news at night. And tonight's the big comedy show, too!

OK, I'm no PhotoShop pro--I leave that to the Punk Princess. But she does look well in Camo, dontcha think?

Open Mic Thursday

I'm thinking it's time for a Crapalong. Haven't done one of those in a long time. I rather like the idea of fugly knitting a la Palin, but I could do a lot with this. Rather than scratch my brain, though, I'll put it out for you all in this week's topic:

What kind of a political Crapalong would you like to see?

It would start this Friday, end on Election Day. I'll give the winner something. If you have ideas, be sure to be as specific as possible. I'll choose the best one on Friday and post their name and their concept. Unless I decide I like mine the best.

It's good to be a petty dictator.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Not much, other than beating the Princess jacket to death. I've been working on that steadily, in the hopes of having it finished by Rhinebeck. I'll make it--the final front is almost done, with a sleeve and the collar to knit. And then the finishing, which is only seaming. That's no BFD.

I will put up a picture of the finished garment. I find WIP pictures somewhat boring. Same shit, different day department.

The KC's Fiber Kids Challenge

I want to thank those of you who have donated to this cause. I have given to each one, since I chose them. Thanks to Jennifer, Elizabeth, and Stefanie for their generosity! Every little bit helps, so if you haven't donated, please do. Of course, we have the entire month of October, so I know that sometimes ya gotta wait until payday. I sure do, most of the time.

Well, it's now October and I'm jonesin' for my fiber festivals. I still haven't made up my mind about going to B'more for Stitches. I find SOAR and Rhinebeck infinitely handy and certainly rare, since they come once a year, like Christmas. (I get that same rush of excitement going to these events as I did at Christmas as a kid.)

The Kids Are Alright!

Best Quote I Heard All Day

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble--Mark Twain

This picture is on my desk, always. It's one of my very favorites and although I think I've put it up on the blog before, it's especially appropriate for today's entry. God knows when Grandma called my entire name, I was in deep shit.

My beloved Grandma, Constance Carsten, or Connie, as she was known to all and sundry, taught in the Staten Island, NY school system for 45 years. (Much to Grandma's disappointment, I did not want to become a teacher. Somehow, I ended up as an editor and then a writer and trainer. So maybe she's not disappointed now.) Grandma died in 1985, a few weeks short of her 90th birthday. At her funeral, tons of her former students showed up. An amazing tribute to an amazing woman, who was an enormous influence on me and so many others.

Recently, I was contacted by DonorsChoose.org, an organization that raises money for teachers who want to give their kids something more. They're sponsoring Blogger Challenge '08, which begins today and runs through the end of October. I agreed to participate because I remember my grandmother doing whatever she could for her students. And I love kids.

So what's the deal? I've chosen six different teachers and their projects, all wanting to teach their students how to weave. Four of the six teach in high poverty areas. If you go here, you can read about Blogger Challenge '08. Fortune Magazine just ran an article about it.

This is the first time I've ever asked readers to contribute money. I would not support something bogus, as you well know. This is a very worthwhile cause. Look around and if you see any other worthwhile projects that I may have missed, e-mail me.

I'm asking you all to dig in your pockets, even if it's just a dollar or two. I don't think that there's any question that the arts in schools have gotten the short end of the stick. I remember that I did some weaving back in grade school, on a very simple student loom. But I came from a wealthy community.

So what's the payoff for you? Here's what I'll do. If each of my Giving Groups reach $100 or more, I will buy some Red Heart Camo, make a really fugly hat, and have Super Jeenyus photograph me wearing it.

Now THAT'S a fucking sacrifice. I'm willing to make a total ass outta myself for kids. And why not? Who better?

Given that we've trashed Caribou Barbie, I think that the Camo is apropos. A lot of you mentioned it in the last entry's comments. Yuck. The mere thought of knitting with that crap gives me metaphysical hives.

So look at the sidebar and you'll see the ad for The KC's Fiber Kids Challenge. Click and give. And thanks to you rare and handy readers. Most of whom have kids themselves, no doubt.

And thank you, Grandma. And all the teachers out there. (Except for Mrs. Schmidt, my 6th grade teacher, who was a witch. Dottie shared in my torture.)

Palin Drone

Best Quote I Heard All Day
"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities."--Bill Maher

I'll leave my thoughts about this week's economic morass to Super Jeenyus, if he gets off his ass and writes something for our blog. Otherwise, I may be forced to spew.

Palinesque Open Mic Thursday
I must admit, I was amused at Joe's post comparing me and Carol to Caribou Barbie:

I know it's odd, but I've always liked strong, opinionated women who are well-spoken and a bit sarcastic. I mean really, aren't Carol and Marilyn a little like Sarah? "

Sure. Very little. I do seek out the facts before I open my mouth and proclaim my words the Gospel truth. And I would argue that Sarah ain't quite as well spoken as we two are. After all, I've had plenty of experience with public speaking. When you are a technical trainer, you're on stage in front of strangers. You'd fucking better have the answers to their questions as well. God knows Carol can hold her own, too. You don't want to get into a pissing contest with her, either. After all, she does hold a law degree from the University of Michigan, right C?

The sarcasm of this half-baked Alaskan soccer mom is grist for my mill.

I see Caribou Barbie as the worst sort of KnitDweeb ever. I really hope to God she doesn't knit. If she does, I'd sure love to see some of her stuff.

So, my skanks, use your imagination.

What would Sarah Palin knit?

It's almost as good as WWJK, dontcha think? I'm sure there are plenty of KnitDweeb-worthy projects out there that you can find or conjure up. I see her using LB Homespun, that fine, folksy ackrilic crap. You know, faux wool. Just as she's faux almost everything.

By the way, I simply can't vote for someone who consistently ends her sentences with prepositions. As in her unintelligible interview tonight with Katie Couric, where she babbled:

I see our country being able to represent those things that can be looked to … as that leadership, that light needed across the world.

Huh?


Obligatory Knitting Shit
This week, it's been work as usual--manuals, manuals, manuals. And a reasonable amount of knitting done. Three pieces to the Princess jacket finished, on the right front, with a sleeve to go. And some minor spinning activity. That's about it.

When I have a chance, possibly this weekend, I'll take some pictures of the Loden Mist Jacket, which is finished. I'm happy with the fit, although I'm a bit concerned about wearing it here and there, since it's a mite fragile.

Still biting away at Rock Sox, plus the autobiography. It seems that the ratio of writing to knitting is 10:1, or so. In many ways, it's easier to sit at the computer and write, especially if I've been doing it most of the day, anyway.

But the books are moving along. Maybe they'll be done in time for my 60th birthday, which Ellie takes great delight in reminding me that it's only a year and a half away. Fortunately, at the doctor's yesterday, he made the wonderful mistake of asking me if I had any premenapausal problems. This dialogue followed:

Me: Um, no, Dr. B.
Dr. B.: Why not?
Me: Because I'm five years into menopause.
Dr. B: Oh, I thought you were 46. Let me check your chart. Ah, 1950. My, you don't look your age at all.
Me: Thanks! It's always good to fool your doctor.

It's one thing when your friends tell you that you look great. But a doctor? That's creditable.

Close Encounters of the Weird Kind
I was down in Lambertville/New Hope last Sunday on a lunch date with a very lovely man. We had a fabulous time. As he walked me to my car later in the afternoon, someone called out my name and I turned around. There were two women and two men standing to my right. One of the women said, "Hi Marilyn! I read your blog all the time. I didn't want to bother you in the restaurant but I really wanted to say hi." Well, I was quite taken aback but truly thrilled. Hey, Susan from Roxbury, it was so nice to meet you! I always enjoy meeting readers and I can't wait for Rhinebeck. Please, hit me on the head and say hello.

I only bite assholes. Really.

Weaving?
I've been pining for my loom, which remains folded up in my bedroom. There's no likelihood that I can unfold it to warp it, either. So my fix is this: I'm going to buy a rigid heddle loom, hopefully at Rhinebeck. Any recommendations? I'm looking closely at the Kromski Harp, but would like the weavers among you to give me your opinions.

I need to do some weaving and it's driving me nuts that I can't. Super Jeenyus suggested that I put the Mighty Wolf out on the back porch, where I'd have more room. Sure, that's bright. Let the elements have their way with it. He can be rare and handy, when his mind doesn't trip over his shoelaces. Christ.