16 on Monday? NOOOOOOO!! Yes.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.--Steven Wright

I think that the solution to this universal problem is to buy enough sock yarn to make three socks. Well, perhaps that's just insanity rather than a solution.

Yes, the Punk Princess turns sweet 16 next Monday, the 28th. Jesus. If anything could make me feel reeeaallly old, it's that. But as Liz says, "You're NOT old, Gram." No, I suppose not. I'll always be her Gangsta Gram. As the Who said, "Hope I die before I get old."

This was Liz at 2. And here's my pal now, with one of her friends, swiped from her Facebook. She's a talented artist, a drummer (who's going to learn how to play bass), and an all-around funky kid. Blood tells, for sure.

So, Dizzy Ms. Lizzy, Happy Birthday. For the past six years, you've been making cameo appearances on my blog. So fercrissakes, start your own, will ya?

Life in General
I've been busy finishing up the Las Vegas Brights scarf and then rummaging around for something to take its place. Unfortunately, I have not had any time to spin, so I guess I won't win the Maillot Jaune this year. I got the scarf blocked out on the porch. Just yanked it out and shaped it rather than trying to pin it. That would have been sheer madness.

I was flipping through last summer's Knitter's, one of the scant decent issues, the one that had Celeste's Campanula. And found a lace jacket thingie by Nancy Marchant that appealed, Loden Mist. I discovered five balls of Dewberry Kidsilk Haze in the stash. I'll be damned if I remember why the fuck I bought them. But they work for the jacket. This piece is finished and the left front is almost done.


Sometimes you just get sick of making shawls and it's time to go back to garments. I love to do the finishing on sweaters. Yeah. Sick. But to me, it's a different process with its own rewards. I still have that Lavold pullover to finish, the one from last fall. So that's next. The Cobweb Crepe shawl is on hold. I need to stitch me some clothing together.


Open Mic Thursday

Well, I kinda missed last week but it seems as if the last topic had a life of its own. This past week, while digging in the stash for the Kidsilk Haze, I was ruminating on how much I love to work with it. A lot of people don't, simply because it's a bitch to rip out. Rowan yarns are some of my very favorites, along with the magazines and the incredible designs.

However, there are a few yarns that I will never, ever work with again. One is Wildefoote sock yarn. It split so badly that I ended up throwing the shit out. That's one.

Of course, I won't work with crap. It's the stuff that you presume isn't shit but turns out to be awful--that's what I'm talking about.

So here ya are:

What yarn will you never, ever work with again?

Yeah, caveat emptor. So make like Consumer Reports and give everyone your sob story.

Gulp. Six Years Tomorrow.
Christ, it really has been six years. I started this mess on July 25, 2002. I figured it would amuse me for about three months. It certainly took my focus away from my troubles, which at the time were legion. A dead husband, a mortgage I was barely able to pay, two adult children back home with their kids, and a job that was on its way out.

But there was always knitting. And writing. And so it shall remain, always. Knitting is the lover that never disappoints, that always gives back in kind. Whenever I feel alone, sad, and unmotivated, all I have to do is pick up them sticks and start focusing on the fabric I'm making.

The same goes for writing. As I've always said, this blog is my main self-indulgence. I write for me. Only me. If somebody reads it, great. If nobody reads it, hey, it's a legacy for my kids.

Liz and I often talk about my family history, which she seems to find fascinating. So for her and Ian, this blog and the books I'm currently writing, are reason enough to keep on keeping on. Because if nothing else, it's been a rare and occasionally handy life.

No Red, White, and Blue Ackrilic Knitted Objects Allowed on the Premises

Best Quote I Heard All Day

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one 4th of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.--Mark Twain

I love fireworks. Here in PA they are legal and you can even buy them in the supermarket. I was so fucking tempted to buy a bunch and shoot 'em off tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, which it's supposed to.

Friggin' Flag Knitting
The only garment made from a flag that was truly cool was worn by The Who back in the '60s. When Carnaby St. was the fashion universe, at least to this then 17 year old.

Here's the perfect KnitDweeb patriotic project. Red, white, and blue warshcloth done in the Old Shale pattern. Nice, huh? Of course, this is done in Sugar 'n Cream, available at the Michaels, AC Moore, WalMart, Hobby Lobby, and other wonderful KnitDweeb emporia.

Or perhaps you'd prefer to crochet a lovely flag afghan? Materials: Red Heart, but of course.

Now, these American flag socks are rather funky. And made with real wool, gang. I'd almost be tempted to make these, just to be obnoxious.

And, in keeping with the true KnitDweeb spirit, all of the aforementioned patterns are FREE, FREE, FREE.

Sorry, can't do white on white. Just white on rice.

Open Mic Thursday
OK, I've given you plenty of ammo. Ya wanna knit patriotic? Then tell the world...

Which of the three patterns above would you knit?

And if you have other sources for patriotic knitted stuff, feel free to shut the fuck up, please. Three are more than enough. Unless you have found something completely absurd. In which case, I'm sure we'd all be intrigued and disgusted.

Warped Speed
After having been sent this link by my dear sister, Ms. Scrappy, I may have to restrict my knitting web surfing. Be afraid, be very afraid of this link. It's not patriotic, just completely bizarre. Knit it because you can. I double dog-dared the blogging Wolvies to knit a pair and be photographed wearing them. No takers. Clearly, I have balls and I'll have to do it.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
The Las Vegas Brights scarf is almost done. Then it's back to the Cobweb Crepe shawl.

In the meanwhile, for all of us who spin, Katherine Matthews once again is having the Tour de Fleece.



I'm in. The Tour begins on July 5th and you must use fiber from your stash, which I think is a capital idea.

This is not the sum total of my fiber stash by a long shot. Just the smaller amounts. We won't talk about the 3 pounds of Romney, the endless supply of Tintagel Farm stuff, and other large purchases.

Please ignore all the Black Bunny Fibers purchases. I can't stay away from Carol's shit.

It's going to be one of these two. And I think I've already chosen the one. Both are silk.





So as of Saturday, the Joy will be cleaned and oiled. And then used for the Tour. Hot damn. I'll be taking photos as I go along. Gotta get it spun and plyed by the 27th so I qualify for the Maillot Jaune button. This one of the few "alongs" that I find worthwhile.

Because "alongs" are not particularly rare and handy, in my opinion. They belong with memes.

Note: The 6th anniversary of The Knitting Curmudgeon is fast approaching. July 25th. If any readers have good ideas for an anniversary blog topic, I'd appreciate the suggestions. God knows I never thought the blog would last this long.

Wherein This Writer Adopts Gonzo Knitting as her Raison d'Etre

Best Quote I Heard All Day
“[Ken] Kesey practices what has come to be known as gonzo journalism. The reporter, often intoxicated, fails to get the story but delivers instead a stylishly bizarre account that mocks conventional journalism.”--R.K. Sheppard

Gonzo knitting. A stylishly bizarre garment that mocks conventional knitting? That appeals. My literary hero, Hunter S., would approve, no doubt. Now, the key word here is "stylishly," which lifts "bizarre" onto a higher plateau, dontcha think?

Gonzo knitting. Anything gonzo, anything that "mocks" the establishment, attracts me to it like flies on shit. Well, if I'm not a stylishly bizarre writer, then I think I'll hang up the electronic pen and find a used Etch-a-Sketch to fulfill my scribbling needs.

PodPerson
Step One in the podcast project has been fulfilled. My Super Jeenyus, Neal, the world's Greatest Audio Engineer EVER (a sop to his ego) is delighted to help me learn to use Audacity and to be my personal engineer. Besides, he owes me big time, since I help him a lot with basic software stuff. As he says, "I'm the nerd, you're the geek."

So, when he's finished a freelance gig that he's doing on the weekends, he'll be ready to help. As long as I shut the fuck up and behave. Which is damned difficult, since we both revel in the "Neal and Marilyn Show," a constant stream of insulting banter back and forth, but delivered with great love and affection. He busts my chops, I give it right back. Hmmm, maybe he should be my podcast sidekick. He was once a deejay, so he'd probably love that.

Open Mic Thursday
OK, so it's almost 10 p.m. Thursday night but what the fuck. I was busy training today and kinda got involved in that for 4 hours. Thank God I now do it over Webex, otherwise I would have had to go to Eighty Four, PA. Yes, that's right. Eighty Four. Google it. It's about 25 miles south of Pittsburgh.

This past weekend, I finally bought the book Victorian Lace. I don't know why I waited so long but considering my rather large collection of knitting, spinning, and weaving books, along with the stacks of magazines, I've not really bought much recently, other than Carol's book. Small apartment, living room with three bookcases, all filled. But I was looking over my library the other day, picking up books that I'd bought but not really used. Yet.

And then there were my exceeding well-worn copies of the Barbara Walker Treasuries. These are the books, after almost 30 years of building my library, that I refer to the most often. And one that I almost never use, Principles of Knitting. By far, that is my least favorite book. So here's my question to you:

Which book in your library do you use the most? And the least?

And be honest. If you don't use any of EZ's books, that is not considered heresy on this blog.

Las Vegas Brights Scarf
It's growing exponentially. Almost done, I would say. I am quite pleased with it. And love working with silk that I spun.


My PhotoShop Essentials crapped out on me tonight (corrupt file, probably), so I couldn't adjust the picture's lighting and colors. But it's pretty much true, except that the color variations and subtleties are harder to see.

I've decided to give this to my friend/boss, Susan. She has finally finished her Master's after eight months of working full time, traveling, and trying to get her school work done. Susan saw it the other week when she was in the office--she lives in Tampa and only comes up to Jersey City every few months. When I told her it was hers, she was blown away because she understands how much work has gone into it. A gift of love? Absolutely.

I keep wondering when my fixation with lace will die down. I have done virtually nothing but for two years now. And yet, my fascination keeps growing, to the point where I have been designing my own lace pattern for the Chantilly Lace socks that will be in my book Rock Soxs.

Such a simple concept. A bunch of yarn loops and corresponding decreases on either a garter or stockinette field. Yet, it confounds so many and causes great gnashing of teeth, the uttering of expletives unknown to Richard Nixon, and a pathological fear of dropping stitches.

I know. I'm one of those rare and handy lunatics who is guilty of all of the above. It will never end, either.

I HAS ALWAYS DEPENDD ON TEH KINDNES OV STRANGERS

Remember this picture? Well, I had to lolcat it. And now, back to you in the studio.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

We of the craft are all crazy. - Lord Byron

Well, your devoted writer is undeniably nuts. And fucking proud of it, too.

A childhood friend of mine, one whose friendship I cut off because she turned into a miserable, angry, self-absorbed alcoholic floating down the River Denial, once said to me:

"Mar, you and I have sinfully underachieved. We could have been brain surgeons and look at us now. Pathetic."

My answer to her was: "Speak for yourself. I'm fine with what I do."

With the 40th high school reunion in six days, I can hold my own with the fucking brain surgeons of our class of '68.

Las Vegas Brights...again

Well, this is what I work on that I can show you because you ain't getting any pictures of the Rock Sox until the book is done and published. (That's moving along nicely, by the way. It's gonna take a while but I keep eating away at it.)

When will this madness stop? When I've knitted up the entire ball, probably. What will I do with it? I dunno, drape Cleo's toidy with it. Or perhaps wear it. For now, it's a relatively mindless project. Yes, the pattern stitch is pretty easy once you've done a repeat. The key to this lace pattern are the delayed decreases.

Huh? What she say? Delayed decreases? WTF?

The decreases are not done at the same time as their corresponding yo's. You know how you get the ole "yo, k2 tog"? That's not always the case, nor can it be for specific lace designs. Ducks ain't always in a row. Sometimes in the next row.

Gonzo Knitting

More and more lately, I've been realizing that some bizarre concept of journalism exists perhaps only in the minds of journalism majors, whose career goals are likely to be the next Katie Couric, God forbid. The real thing is ebbing away. With the awful loss of Tim Russert this week, a true journalist of the Morrow caliber, the breed is becoming extinct. If anything happens to Keith Olbermann, I don't know who we'll turn to for a sane voice, a journalist who fights for what's right, rather than for a cushy network job mouthing platitudes and doing stories about eco-friendly bikinis.

In the face of Russert's death, I am reminded of how small a microcosm knitting is in the world and how inconsequential writing about knitting and fiberart is, as well as writing about mobile asset management software. As much as I love this blog, arguably the writing I do on Swing Time is harder, more evocative, and hopefully more helpful to my readers.

Longtime Tontant Weaders know who my literary heros are. Dorothy Parker. John Lennon. Hunter S. Thompson. Duke lately more than the others because the older I get, the more I'm ready to kick the establishment, knitting or otherwise, in the ass.

So where do I go from here? A good, responsible writer always asks that question at frequent intervals. With a reprieve from my crushing work schedule, I've been thinking and rethinking. And came up with the thought of doing the occasional podcast or video, since Blogger now allows you to upload videos.

Neal will walk me through this because he is, after all, Super Jeenyus. And Super Audio Engineer. It could either be disastrous or a hell of a lot of fun. Me in person on the blog? An odd concept. But perhaps a rare and handy one.

Kthxbye.

Open Mic Thursday is Back...Like a Bad Rash

Best Quote I Heard All Day
If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.--Hunter S. Thompson

I miss Uncle Duke. I wonder what his take would have been on the politics of today. Through a glass darkly, no doubt, with a hit of mescaline as a chaser.

Yesterday was a remarkable day, was it not? I stayed up past my bedtime to watch all three speeches, McBush, Hillary, and Obama. And it occurred to me that I have had the great fortune in my life to have been profoundly moved and influenced by three incredible, charismatic political figures--John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Barack Obama.

Not since Robert Kennedy have I felt such hope that reparations can be made, that we can become what we once were. A can-do nation. Not a morass of deluded and spoiled individuals concerned about what they're entitled to have.

If McBush wins this election, it has been discussed at the Washington Street abode that we'll move the Neal and Marilyn Show to Canada. We aren't kidding, either. (And yes, Neal gets first billing. Why? Because he's a Super Genius. So he says.)

Arkansas Traveler
Yepper, as we say here in NEPA, I was down in Klinton Kountry last week for three days. Stayed in Little Rock, drove 70 miles out to a town called Russellville to train a new client. And hot damn, had a Mustang for a rental. Yeah, baby.

On the way back, I made a quick stop at the Clinton Library. I must say, I was extremely underwhelmed by this edifice. Not bad for a cellphone pic, though.

And I didn't feel much like paying admission. But the Arkansas River was very pretty. I did walk around the grounds a bit.


Las Vegas Brights
Knitting on the plane seems to be where I get the most work done. With the Cobweb Crepe shawl now too big to stash in my backpack, I decided that knitting up the Las Vegas Brights silk that I spun back in March would be much more packable, quick to remove prior to stashing the backpack in the overhead compartment.


Choosing a pattern was easy. Ever since I bought Sharon Miller's Heirloom Lace, I've wanted to use the Old Spanish Lace Border in something. This is the something.

Yes, it's certainly bright, although I took this picture out on the porch at 9:30 tonight, so the flash rather garished it up. This is simply a detail shot. The entire piece is 89 stitches wide, perfect for a largish scarf. Or perhaps a very funky curtain.

I figure, if three flight attendants and Neal all thought it was beautiful, then perhaps they know more than I do. As far as I'm concerned, the jury is out on the colorations until the whole 800 yards has been knitted up.


Open Mic Thursday
Well, now that I seem to have slowed down with the travel, other than another trip to Charlotte the week after next, it's back to business as usual.

I've not been on Ravelry in months. It's the time factor, frankly. I don't use it for cataloging my junk. First, because I honestly don't want to know what I have, other than my books, which are up on LibraryThing.com. Knowing exactly what I have stashwise would probably make me feel severely wretched. Second, I haven't had the time to read any of the forums to which I belong.

That said, what I'd like to know is:

Are you still using Ravelry? If not, why not?

I continue to see the value in Ravelry, although probably not for me. One friend, who shall go nameless, says that it can be an enormous time waster. Another friend is convinced that it has become KnitDweeb Heaven. Well, that was rather easy to predict. It is what it is, and you can use it as you wish.

So gang, it's time to switch over to SwingTime, where I'll be writing about childhood bipolar disorder. An interesting subject, one that was recently covered in Newsweek.

A diet of airplane pretzels is enough to make one gag. I counted 13.5 mini pretzels in the last bag I ate. Yes, I did count them. Why the fuck not? If I never see another airport again, it will be just swell. Flying is most certainly not rare and handy. Especially when you spend nine hours in the Charlotte/Douglas airport.