Open Mic Thursday is Back...Like a Bad Rash

Best Quote I Heard All Day
If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.--Hunter S. Thompson

I miss Uncle Duke. I wonder what his take would have been on the politics of today. Through a glass darkly, no doubt, with a hit of mescaline as a chaser.

Yesterday was a remarkable day, was it not? I stayed up past my bedtime to watch all three speeches, McBush, Hillary, and Obama. And it occurred to me that I have had the great fortune in my life to have been profoundly moved and influenced by three incredible, charismatic political figures--John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Barack Obama.

Not since Robert Kennedy have I felt such hope that reparations can be made, that we can become what we once were. A can-do nation. Not a morass of deluded and spoiled individuals concerned about what they're entitled to have.

If McBush wins this election, it has been discussed at the Washington Street abode that we'll move the Neal and Marilyn Show to Canada. We aren't kidding, either. (And yes, Neal gets first billing. Why? Because he's a Super Genius. So he says.)

Arkansas Traveler
Yepper, as we say here in NEPA, I was down in Klinton Kountry last week for three days. Stayed in Little Rock, drove 70 miles out to a town called Russellville to train a new client. And hot damn, had a Mustang for a rental. Yeah, baby.

On the way back, I made a quick stop at the Clinton Library. I must say, I was extremely underwhelmed by this edifice. Not bad for a cellphone pic, though.

And I didn't feel much like paying admission. But the Arkansas River was very pretty. I did walk around the grounds a bit.


Las Vegas Brights
Knitting on the plane seems to be where I get the most work done. With the Cobweb Crepe shawl now too big to stash in my backpack, I decided that knitting up the Las Vegas Brights silk that I spun back in March would be much more packable, quick to remove prior to stashing the backpack in the overhead compartment.


Choosing a pattern was easy. Ever since I bought Sharon Miller's Heirloom Lace, I've wanted to use the Old Spanish Lace Border in something. This is the something.

Yes, it's certainly bright, although I took this picture out on the porch at 9:30 tonight, so the flash rather garished it up. This is simply a detail shot. The entire piece is 89 stitches wide, perfect for a largish scarf. Or perhaps a very funky curtain.

I figure, if three flight attendants and Neal all thought it was beautiful, then perhaps they know more than I do. As far as I'm concerned, the jury is out on the colorations until the whole 800 yards has been knitted up.


Open Mic Thursday
Well, now that I seem to have slowed down with the travel, other than another trip to Charlotte the week after next, it's back to business as usual.

I've not been on Ravelry in months. It's the time factor, frankly. I don't use it for cataloging my junk. First, because I honestly don't want to know what I have, other than my books, which are up on LibraryThing.com. Knowing exactly what I have stashwise would probably make me feel severely wretched. Second, I haven't had the time to read any of the forums to which I belong.

That said, what I'd like to know is:

Are you still using Ravelry? If not, why not?

I continue to see the value in Ravelry, although probably not for me. One friend, who shall go nameless, says that it can be an enormous time waster. Another friend is convinced that it has become KnitDweeb Heaven. Well, that was rather easy to predict. It is what it is, and you can use it as you wish.

So gang, it's time to switch over to SwingTime, where I'll be writing about childhood bipolar disorder. An interesting subject, one that was recently covered in Newsweek.

A diet of airplane pretzels is enough to make one gag. I counted 13.5 mini pretzels in the last bag I ate. Yes, I did count them. Why the fuck not? If I never see another airport again, it will be just swell. Flying is most certainly not rare and handy. Especially when you spend nine hours in the Charlotte/Douglas airport.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

If you be sick, your own thoughts will make you sick--Ben Jonson

Based on the rash of infested groups that have sprung up on Ravelry, I'd say that there are a lot of sick knitters out there. A plethora of disease-filled needle 'hos, if you will.

Knit 1, Wheeze Too--perfect for those of you with respiratory ailments who want to share your sputum with other infected and affected souls.

Knitting With Pain. Yep, chronic pain sufferers.

Thyroid Yarnies. Self-explanatory.

Neuro-Diversity. OCD, ADD, and any other neuro-abbreviation.

These are real Ravelry groups, gang. Along with other excitingly contagious groups such as Crunchy Christian Crafters, *fiber faeries* (whose tag says: "fiber makers who believe in faeries note: joining will save faerie lives! "), Busdriver's That Knits (yes, busdrivers who knit in Norway) and a bunch more.

Fortunately, there are worthwhile groups to join, that eschew this nonsense. I rather fancy Porn-knitographers, myself. Those who write erotica, knit, and sometimes do both at the same time. I practice what I preach.

Many groups have few members. I understand people's need for support if they are dealing with an illness. However, I have found that if you are needy, you will tend not to manage your disease or disorder but look for tea and sympathy. Looking for information and direction is fine. So find a group solely dedicated to your problem and leave knitting out of it.

But let's be glad that Jess and Casey have opened up the forums for these people who seem to need to add yet another attachment or malady to their knitting talk. At least we don't need to read this crap on the lists. And in actuality, I've pretty much given up reading the lists anyway.

These groups do affirm my believe in the species KnitDweeb, how-some-ever.

Some knitting lists have started groups on the Ravelry Forum. I find that quite interesting as a social dynamic.

So I guess you can see where this will lead. Yes, to...

Open Mic Thursday

A bifurcated topic this week. Because, as we all know, I'm rather bifurcated myself.

1) Do you think that the Ravelry groups portend the demise of knitting mailing lists as we've known them?

2) What disease/disorder/malady would you like to see represented on the Ravelry Forum? Use your imagination.

If this ain't grist for your mill, it sure is for mine. By the way, ask Carol about her group. It has to do with kielbasi. And Koigu. Together. A greasy, merino-y combination. Ravelry, if nothing else, is an equal opportunity community. Me, I'm all for big sausages. Fuck the Koigu. Really, you don't want to know about this group.

Yes, I Still Do Fiber Shit

So this week, I managed to get some spinning done. Finally finished plying all of the Black Bunny Fiber alpaca that Carol gave me for my last birthday. A pleasure to spin.

Not satisfied with that, I started spinning some silk roving that I bought at Rhinebeck last year, suitably called "Las Vegas Brights."

I do love bright colors. Like a magpie. And I have two lengths of this roving, 2 ounces each. Enough for a scarf or something. Silk is one of my very favorite fibers to spin.

I'm liking this single a lot. I started with the blue and segued into the hot pink.

And a day or so ago, I was reading Carol's complaint that she couldn't seem to spin thinner.

Ted gave Carol some very good advice: Stop worrying about how thin you're spinning and be more concerned about consistent drafting.

Well, here's the key. As Mabel Ross always said, "Measure and count." You must consistently enter the same amount of fiber into the twist, while you treadle evenly, with the same number of wheel rotations for every length of fiber introduced into the twist.

It's all a matter of that, plus knowing how much twist the fiber needs. Combining treadling speed with whorl size and tension to get the grist you want takes some experience. And that's where sampling comes in.

A new spinner should sample, sample, sample. Until all of the aforementioned actions become instinctive and the desired thickness of yarn is achieved. This is not something that can be taught, in my opinion. It must be felt. Brain connects to hands, and you're in.

As Ted says, it's actually harder for an experienced spinner who has produced thin singles to spin heavier weight singles. However, if you have the feel for how much fiber you need to introduce for the weight you want, you can do it.

Just remember the first time you held knitting needles and tried to make a stitch. Awkward. Klutzy. And then, brain engaged hands and you had it. Same thing here. (Of course, I was only 8 when I learned to knit but I remember the brain-hands marriage as clear as day.)

And now, it's time to return to the rare and handy wheel because that silk is calling me before I go to bed. And then there's the boxes of stash lined up in my dining room, ready to go to E'burg. So I've kept out what I need and the rest goes over the Gap on Saturday. (And yes, this is being published prior to 12 midnight, as is my habit.)

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I have found out there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.--Mark Twain

Other than to Texas, when I went with my dear friend and bosswoman Susan, I tend to travel alone for work.

Like yesterday, to Wilkes-Barre. Now, would you ask anyone to accompany you there? I sure wouldn't. Although the ride up and down the hills was beautiful, with the trees finally turning colors. And then there was the lovely place in East Stroudsburg, where I stayed Monday and Tuesday nights. Ah, the spaghetti sauce was exquisite. (And there's a very nice yarn shop a block away, Mountain Knits and Pearls.)

Next week, I'm off to Hyattsville, MD, for two days. The following week, Danbury, CT. November 13-16 down to Wilmington, North Cackalacky, as the late husband called it. Second week of December finds me in Tampa for a sales training conference. All fucking week.

But this Saturday, it's Rhinebeck. The most important trip of them all, bar none. I will be there at 9 a.m. sharp. I'm looking forward to meeting those of you who are going. Don't hesitate to grab me. I'll be with JoeWi, as he's calling himself these days, along with Carol, Ted, and a few others. But it's people I really want to see, even more than all the fibroid extravagances.

Oh yeah, and once again I'm a Square for those of you playing Rhinebeck Bingo. I still have last year's button, so what the fuck.

Big Muthafucka Needles
OK, will someone tell me why you'd want to knit a scraf in an hour? No, I didn't misspell that. Anything rectangular that poses as a scarf and is knit on these needles is a scraf in my book.

These needles are too big for even Wenlan Chia.

Please. Size 50 is what they are. Nothing new. But Lion Brand calls 'em Speed Stix, somewhat reminiscent of the deodorant. Stix 'em up yer ass.

I want knitting needles that double as vibrators. And light up. The Wolvies will know whence I speak. Now those, I'd buy.

Open Mic Thursday
Somebody, whose name I'm too lazy to look up, wanted to know last week why the Open Mic Thursday appeared prior to midnight, even though the post was marked as 12:01 a.m. Well, because I ain't staying up that late so I cheat every week. Bite me.

This week, I'm in a mood political. I know, generally Joe does that deal; however, I'm highly political and of course, highly opinionated. Neal and I often discuss politics--we're both news and politics junkies--and he's of the opinion that the time is ripe for an independent party/candidate to make an appearance. Here's the topic for Thursday:

Would you vote for an independent, such as Al Gore or Colin Powell, for example, rather than the party choices?

I agree with Neal, completely. It may be the right time for an independent. I am completely dismayed with both parties. As he says, the Democrats are just Republicans in cheap suits. You have to wonder why the fuck the Dems have squandered the opportunity presented to them last November to set some shit right.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Nothing. Absolutely nothing worth discussing. Just socks. I'm fried so that's what I can do on the train. This is bad, very bad. However, when I catch a breath, I will go back to the several projects that are yet unfinished: The Magenta Diamonds shawl, which needs only the top edging, Jenn's Campanula, and my Lavold that is missing a sleeve. Plus, I misplaced and then found the battery charger for my camera, hence no pictures, even of stoopid socks. But plenty of Rhinebeck pictures will be forthcoming.

Groupies
I have noticed that the KnitDweebs are busy creating dee-liteful groups in the Ravelry forums. Scary. In case you're interested, there is not yet a warshcloth group. So if you're a Sugar 'n' Cream devotee, hurry up and start one. You'll be flooded with members, no doubt.

However, there are plenty of intelligent groups available and I've joined a few. Spin Tech, Historic Knitting, and of course, Jersey Represent, which has a brilliantly written intro to the group that I recommend all Jersey wannabes to read. As they say,

cuz life's too short to be pumping your own gas (especially when there is knitting to be done!)

I only learned to pump my own gas when I became a solo act and had to travel out of state on my own. Now I'm a pro and I wish we could pump our own gas. But it's against the law in NJ. And I believe Oregon also.

So, with that, I will pump my own gas, catch some sleep now, and see you all on the rarest and handiest day of the year. Rhinebeck cometh.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.--Charles Dickens

It's all about money, this entry.

Micawber, that charming ne'er-do-well, memorably portrayed by W.C. Fields in the original 1935 movie version of David Copperfield, could well be my favorite Dickens character.

The Micawber Principle. One that we all try to live by, I suppose. Hence the following topic.

The World's Most Ridiculously Over-Priced Knitting Kit
Yeah, I found it. And it's not some chi-chi designer sweater kit, either.

It's the Let's Dish dishcloth kit, which I discovered while wolfing down my dinner tonight. In the latest Patternworks catalog. One needs reading material while eating, at least I do.

Here's what you get for $24.00 plus shipping:

• Sufficient linen yarn to make one 9"x9" cloth, in either grape or red, crocheted in a simple circle OR (drumroll) knitted in an Old Shale stitch. Instructions included.


• One bar of "organic" soap

Gang. What's wrong with this price? First of all, you can buy a skein of 270-yard Euroflax Linen for $20 in a variety of colors, not a mere two. I would hazard a guess and say that you'd get three of these dishcloths from one skein.

"Organic" soap? Shit, my supermarket sells that kind of stuff for a couple of bucks. Cheap scented soap, anyway. Maybe not "organic," but who the fuck will know?

The stitch patterns? Available EVERYWHERE. For free. Somewhere, in one of your knitting books, you can find Old Shale, Feather and Fan, or the many variations on that shell pattern. Look in any of the free pattern collections on the internet and you'll find one of them. Google is your friend, after all.

Rip-off alert. I need say more?

If I ever am reduced to giving handknit dishcloths as "housewarming or bridal shower gifts" (quotes are from the catalog), I beg Joe to come to my house with an Uzi and put us all out of my misery.

Open Mic Thursday
Well, you knew it was coming. I've made my stand on this topic. Now it's your turn. So, sharpen your Crayolas and tawk amongst yourselves, as I would say. (Yep, I do say "cawfee" and "tawk")

Our new Open Mic Thursday avatar. I'm a little verklempt now.

You design your own garments/accessories, you write about knitting, you could teach a knitting technique to others. You are offered the opportunity to have your work published or the chance to teach in the knitting spotlight. However, you are offered only the opportunity, without financial reimbursement, with the rationale being that you are getting "exposure."

Do you accept those terms? If not, does it matter how much you are paid? A token sum or market value?

Go for it, kids.

Fire Sale
Sadly, I have come to the conclusion that I must sell my loom, for reasons that I really can't go into at the moment. Yeah, something's brewing. When and if it happens, you know I'll write about it.

So, if you live within driving distance of Wharton, NJ and want to buy the following for $2500, email me and we'll talk. I'm giving my readers first refusal, and then the Ravelry hoodlums.

Here's the package:

• Schacht 8-shaft Mighty Wolf floor loom
• Loom bench with one side pocket
• Schacht warping board
• Raddle
• Stroller wheels
• 10- and 12-dent reeds
• Two boat shuttles
• Swedish bobbin winder
• All of my weaving books--I have to make a list but I have a few
• All of my Handwoven magazines (probably 10 or so)
• Two boxes of coned yarn, mostly pearl cotton, some shetland
• A Halcyon gamp kit

The loom is completely heddled, so you wouldn't have to assemble it. It folds up to about 18", even with work on it. And I've barely used it, so it's in primo condition. The price is firm. Non-negotiable. So whoever makes the first firm offer wins.

Give We Must
I just want to give Ravelry another plug. As much as I am not a bandwagon kinda person, this is a remarkable achievement by Casey the Code Monkey and Jess. If you haven't yet gotten onto the beta site, they're letting more and more people in. But they are doing this gratis, everyone. Until they start getting some advertising up there, they depend on the kindness of strangers. We who use the site for free.

So, if you are a Ravelry beta user, how about going to the Donations page and droppin' a dime on these two. I will do so on Friday, when I get paid. Because being an IT person, I know what kind of work goes into an endeavor like this. Frankly, it runs better than some of the software for which I've written manuals. A great deal of planning, thought, and coding has gone into it. Let's give them our support. Put yer money where yer mouth is, in other words.

Calendar Girl
Well, it would seem that in general, most of us think it's a waste of paper. I will say, though, that I was incorrect in saying that the calendar is comprised of stitch patterns. It is not. It contains actual garments, scarves, dolls, hats, and other ephemera, both knitted and crocheted.

Somehow, that almost makes the whole Ripley's Believe It Or Not solicitation worse. As I said in the comments, I don't believe she was being at all malicious. Just clueless. And because I don't suffer fools gladly, I did what I did. I've hopefully educated her now.

My nonknitting friends, with the exception of my goofy sister, the self-proclaimed Scrap Curmudgeon, who persists in giving me knitted fuglies, never would even think of buying me that calendar as a gift. I must agree with Michelene's POV. Gimme a gift certificate. Or maybe some earrings. I'll pass on the Glenlivet, though, since I don't drink these days.

Perhaps my nonknitting friends know me all too well. I will say that they are just as rare and handy as my knitting friends, absolutely.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. --Oscar Wilde

Now, is this a good-looking man, or what?


Mr. Knitted Condomhead. Sublime. Ridiculous.

I love my gay brother and we had such fun together this past Saturday. It was time for a road trip to New Hope, having missed out on going down to see Carol in Cape May due to crummy weather.

The world's best espresso, made by Thaddeus, then lunch at our favorite Thai place in Lambertville, Siam, and then. Twist. What else? (We left Thaddeus at home.)

Deb was on vacation but Steve was there, always witty, always sweet, even when he manages to screw up the shop swift.

Since I'm on a fairly tight budget, it was a sock yarn diet for me. I bought the same Regia KF sock yarn as did Joe. Despite my reservations about the striping, it's still nice yarn. Joe likes the stripes. I dunno. The jury is still out.

What the fuck. They're only socks. Not objets d'art. I do like the colors.

Twist and Stix-n-Stitches are my true local yarn shops, even though they're not exactly local. (Deb needs to get herself a web site.)

Ravelry
Well, I finally gained admittance yesterday to the beta site, so if you're looking for me, I'm Knitcurmudgeon. How fucking original.



Although I won't go to the lengths of listing my stash--that's more work than it's worth--I think this site has a lot of value to knitters, particularly in connectivity. I belong to LinkedIn, a similar type of community for business, where you can network with business associates.

This is the future of the web. For those of you in IT, we know it as Web 2.0. Now, the Luddite part of me says, I just want to be left alone to knit and spin. The techie part of me says, this is incredible technology.

There is so much information floating out there on knitting, I doubt that it can all ever be consolidated. However, that's OK. Ravelry is a step towards this goal and I hope that it may rise above being a repository for KnitDweebish knitting projects. Reading the forums, though, tells me a couple of things.

First, from what I can see, this is a very young crowd. New knitters, mostly. Haranguing against "yarn snobs." Defending knitting with acrylics with the kind of passion that should be directed perhaps at the state of our government, rather than at knitting.

Second, these forums tend to attract the RAOK types that I can't be bothered with, being a cranky old bitch. In fact, I don't ever post to forums. And don't read them either, as a rule.

So I'll use Ravelry to the degree that I need to. But the blog remains my forum. And yours, if you care to comment.

Happy Birthday, Mammy!
Tomorrow, the Senior Knitting Curmudgeon celebrates her 84th birthday.

I love this picture of my mother, knitting in hand, spouting an opinion on some damned thing or other, taken at my sister's last Christmas.

Now, for those of you who follow our Maroon-in-Chief's lead and whine that it's "too hard," this woman has just finished a complicated Jean Frost jacket and is ready to embark on an equally complicated Lavold.

As Ma puts it, she keeps planning projects because as long as she knits, she ain't going to the LYS in the sky. As it is, she's got 2007-2008 mapped out, pretty much. The doctor figures she's good for another 20 years. From his lips, etc.

I've always been fearless but Ma certainly encouraged that quality. Well, as long as I didn't bleed profusely. She hated the blood stuff. I would frequently let a grass cut dribble down my leg until it was sufficiently bloody to upset my mother. In fact, I did many things that sufficiently upset my mother. But as long as it did not include bodily fluids, she was usually cool about it in the long run.

Love ya, Mammy. You're the true rare and handy person in our family.