If U Cn Rd Ths, U Cn b an Edtr n Wrtr

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Editing should be, especially in the case of old writers, a counseling rather than a collaborating task. The tendency of the writer-editor to collaborate is natural, but he should say to himself, ''How can I help this writer to say it better in his own style?'' and avoid ''How can I show him how I would write it, if it were my piece?'—James Thurber

De Emendator non est Disputandum

At various times in my life, from a number of people, I’ve heard:

“You were born to be an editor.”

“You’re a born writer.”

It is true, since I am certainly ill-suited to be your server for this evening. I know how to write. It’s in my blood. And I know how to edit without trying to be the writer’s voice. Thurber’s quote really hits home, this week especially, since my irritation about being summarily edited without the courtesy of seeing the edits has been festering like a suppurating sore.

It’s often said, to paraphrase the well-known quote about teachers, “Those who can’t write, edit.” There is some truth to this, although as an editor for small specialty magazines, I had to wear many hats: editor, writer, art director, layout artist, marketing manager, even accountant (well, I had to deal with budgets). But first and foremost, I have always been a writer. That came first, at age eight, when I learned to knit and learned that I could take words that rhymed and make little poems that expressed my young thoughts and feelings.

Being a good editor means that you do not silence the writer’s voice, ever. It means that you form a partnership with the writer. It’s the difference between helping a writer to tune their voice so that it rings true to them, not to you, so that they communicate with clarity without sacrificing their tone. Nurture. Suggest. Pure and simple. It’s not just the grammar and the spelling. It’s respecting the writer’s essence. Sometimes grammar has to be tossed out the window in favor of soul.

I will not allow my voice to be muffled again. By any amateur editor. And any analogies to music are strictly intentional. Tone, voice, meter—as I was once also a musician, I can only apply musicality to my opera. OK, no more bad Latin.

LOLCAT IZ TEH LANGUAGE OV TEH FUCHUR

I may write my next article in LOLCAT—like Carol, I’m a big fan.

I LUV TEH ABSURD AN KATS R ABSURD. MI KAT CLEO DOEZ NOT SPEEK LOLCAT. SHEZ MOAR BLANCHE DUBOIS. "I HAS ALWAYS DEPENDD ON TEH KINDNES OV STRANGERS."

It’s so much more elegant a populist language than, say, Pig Latin, or for those of my age from the NY Metro area, Me-a-surry, created by the late, great Murray the K.

GEEK WARNING: If you don’t do computers, skip this bit.

Along with being a writer, I’m a frustrated junior programmer, who can edit but not write pure code. Those of you who are geeks will know what I mean when I say that well-written code can be a beautiful thing. LOLCAT has metamorphosed into a programming language. One that enthralls me far more than Java, Perl, C#, .NET, or even SQL. Here’s a wonderful example, GIMMEH, found on the LOLCODE site:

HAI

CAN HAS STDIO?

I HAS A VAR

GIMMEH VAR

VISIBLE "You said " N VAR N " !!"

KTHXBYE

You gotta love the start block delimiter, HAI, and the closer, KTHXBYE. And yes, people are using LOLCODE on legit platforms.

So Yeah, This is a Knitting Blog, More or Less

And so much more, no? Yes, I’ve been knitting, socks and a shawl. In fact, after playing footsie with writing a book for the past three years, I finally realized that my original book idea was indeed the most viable. No, it’s not the book I began writing two years ago and dropped because I didn’t want to produce yet another “My Speshul Knitting Encyclopedia According to Me” kind of tome. This time, it’s happening. And I will publish it myself because I’m not going to have no steenkin’ publisher fuck it up.

The book that has been in my head for almost four years now is pretty much roughed out. Are ya ready?

Rock Sox.

That’s right, socks inspired by rock ‘n’ roll. Not just the designs, but background on the songs and the artists, too, along with my twisted prose. I’ve begun the first design already, Chantilly Lace, and the prototype is looking pretty good. Because I’ll own the material, I’ll print pictures as I go along, and I would expect my Tontant Weaders to give their unadulterated opinions. That's presuming that you skanks have learned something from reading me.

It seemed to me that I have managed to knit quite a few pairs of socks recently. If that’s what I can manage, why not turn it into a fun book to design and write. Here are my raw notes:

50s

· Chantilly Lace (Big Bopper)—lace pattern—black lace with pink eyelet ruffle

· Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini (Brian Hylan)—Fair Isle dots on yellow

· Jailhouse Rock (Elvis)—mosaic stripes?

60s

· Eleanor Rigby (Beatles)—mauve plain sock with a lace cuff?

· Get Off of My Cloud (Stones)

· Purple Haze (Hendrix)—Kidsilk Haze with fine cotton binder?

70s

· Tangled Up in Blue (Dylan)

· Pinball Wizard (The Who)—Large silver beads annoyingly placed

· Stairway to Heaven (Led Zep)

80s

· Born in the USA (Springsteen)—something with red/white/blue, tri-colored cables?

· Cheap Sunglasses (ZZ Top)—intarsia sunglasses

· Burning Down the House (Talking Heads) flame pattern?

90s

· Tears In Heaven (Eric Clapton)

· Heart-shaped Box (Nirvana)

· Wilbury Twist (The Traveling Wilburys)—rocking cable?

The New Millenium

· Good Charlotte

· Green Day

· Blink 182

As you can see, this is not yet fully formed. It's mostly plug and play, if you get my drift. I’ll be checking with Liz as to what songs will be apropos from the New Millenium artists. I fully admit, I know little about these bands. And I’ll listen to her advice.

OK, gang, this has been more than I’ve written in a long time. Thanks for missing me. I missed you, too. The rare and handy hiatus is over. I'm back. Back in the New York groove. Or whatever.

KTHXBYE

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?--Bruce Springsteen

Between Springsteen's interview tonight on 60 Minutes ("every writer has something eating away at them") and talking to the Squeeze today about my writing, I had yet another epiphany.

My life has been full of epiphanies. I believe that if you don't have them, you're not digging deep enough into your soul. I'm the Con Ed of epiphanies. Dig I must.

So the Epiphany du Jour says it's been writing, writing, writing since I was eight years old. It wasn't knitting that was a compulsive act, beyond my control. It has always been the writing, which often spills out like a bad case of the runs. It cramps you up until you let it out. Nonetheless, knitting has been a means to the end, and a fine one too.

But the reality is that I've never lived up to my potential. Fuck writing a knitting book. Why should I, when it's a limitation to what I could produce? Knitting doesn't eat away at me. Technical writing, while clearly a large part of my life, both as vocation and avocation, serves mostly as the paycheck conduit.

There is much within that needs to be put down, whether many read it or no one. So while I will continue to write this blog and write my manuals, there's a new horizon out there.

Wholesale Stealing
Was I pissed off when this Susan Ripley person takes my comments and uses them as a freebie ad to procure virtually free material for her Pattern-A-Day calendar? If you read my edit to her ad, you can only imagine the extent of my ire.

First of all, my email address is in my profile. If you want to write to me, and readers do, you can easily find it there. Second, I will not tolerate spam, which is what I consider Ripley's lengthy beg-a-rama. Those calendars, from what I've seen of them, are a waste of paper. Go out and buy the Walker books, the Harmony books, and the other stitch pattern books. Spend your money on those. Then, if you want, buy the dopey calendar.

Ms. Ripley managed to spew out 347 words, for which she will receive an invoice from me for $347.00. This is an open forum for my readers. It is not space for a business to steal. And that's exactly what she and her company did. So now she can pay my advertising rates.

Of course, Carol was brilliant and left an ad on her blog. I also left a message. I would encourage you all to do the same, if you feel as I do. And let this be a warning to any business who thinks they can plop whatever bullshit they're flogging into my comments.

I'm not that nice a person when it comes to stealing. Righteously furious about this shit? Absolutely. Mar enraged is rare and handy.

Ripley Update, October 8
Here is the letter that I sent to Ms. Ripley. I won't ignore bad behavior. Yeah, Carol, you can be the attorney of record. Heh.

Dear Ms. Ripley,

I was completely infuriated to see that you left your unsolicited ad regarding your Pattern-A-Day calendar in my blog comments. This is unacceptable and unprofessional, at the very least. In addition to angering me, you have angered many of my readers and many fellow bloggers, who also have been victims of your unwanted comments invasion.

Courtesy in the cyberworld means that you contact the site owner or blogger via email if you wish their assistance in promoting your product. My email address is located in my blog profile, which you obviously ignored. You did not write to me, nor to a number of other bloggers. I consider your "comment" an ad and I will charge you for that privilege at an advertising rate of $1.00/word. Since you managed to write 347 of them, your company owes me $347.00, payable within 30 days.

If you do not remit payment, I will consult my lawyer, whose blog you also sullied with your ad. I would think that as a businesswoman, you would have had more sense than to alienate your market. My blog reaches many knitters and I had no hesitation in writing publicly about your behavior. Even knitters sans blogs were outraged. And what is worse, you offer a "contest" in lieu of payment for a stitch pattern design. I don't know which is more offensive, hijacking someone's comments or offering an opportunity to be paid via lottery.

Please remit $347.00 to:
Marilyn Roberts
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Wharton, NJ 07885

I would expect a public apology to all bloggers whose blogs you infiltrated, not just mine. That would be the decent thing to do and might help restore your reputation with bloggers and blog readers.