Best Quote I Heard All Day
The word "user" is used by the computer professional when they mean "idiot."--Dave Barry


The whole key to writing successful user manuals is targeting the material to those who may or may not understand the concept of the electrical plug and the "On" button.


Long week of inserting edited text into .xml code. For those of you who know, I need not say more.

For those of you who don't, the proper analogy would be forced knitting of 200 yards of stockinette. In laceweight on size 000s. With my glasses off.

I feel like Lili von Shtupp. Tired. But if ever there were a role I was born to play, it's Lili. With the exception of the thousands of men, again and again.



Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Codeheads
A break was needed from IT BS. I decided last week that it was too hot to work on the Lavold, with just one sleeve left to go. So I put that aside and started Celeste's Campanula lace jacket from this issue of Knitter's, in the Rowan Cotton Glace that I had bought for the Ophelia pullover in the last Rowan mag.



I have been of a mind that pullovers really do make me look excessively tit-o-licious, so I'm rather into jackets and cardis these days. And this has been a very satisfying knit, I must say. Celeste, you've outdone yourself. Bravo for the fitted sleeves.

I will say that given the weight of the Cotton Glace, which is borderline fingering and probably a bit closer to DK, that this is a relatively hefty piece of work. Nonetheless, it's doable. I have not knitted with cotton in a number of years and this is exceptionally nice yarn.

As far as the ties for the front are concerned, I may work my way around that, simply because as someone mentioned, ties are "fiddly." Indeed. I'll keep the ties on the sleeves, though, because they're relatively unobtrusive.

Spinnin' Thin
OK, so I finally got my plyed BBF alpaca on the winder. This first batch was 319 yds. and I'm not done yet, by any stretch of the imagination.



I'm happy with it.

I did promise to write about my thoughts re: spinning thin. So here they are:

• Use a fiber that lends itself to fine spinning: merino, silk, alpaca. Any of these three blended work a treat. See my piece on spinning merino in the sidebar for more information on that fiber.
  
• Use a short/worsted draw. Better control.
• The thinner you spin, the more magnified any drafting inconsistencies become. And don't think that plying will hide them. The size of the inconsistency will determine whether or not it will disappear in the plying. So it had better be tiny.
  
• You do not have to use a special high-speed whorl, for which you pay extra, to spin laceweight. Use the highest ratio you have. You may have to treadle somewhat faster but not that much.
• Keep tension to a minimum. Have just enough so that the single winds onto the bobbin easily.
• Remember that the most minute amount of fiber will stay together if it has enough twist.
  
• Practice, practice, practice. Put on the high-ratio whorl. Begin spinning as you normally would, and then immediately start introducing less and less fiber into the twist. Adjust your treadling accordingly. You will find at first that you are probably not putting enough twist into the fiber and it will drift apart. At least, that's what happened to me. Too much twist and the single will snap, like a balloon popping. Surprise.

Using a spinning wheel is much akin to driving a car. Use your treadling, not your tension, to help control your single, as you would when you drive and use the brake/gas. If you run into drafting trouble, slow the fuck down! Or stop, remove the drafting mess you probably made and start again.

And don't put the death grip on the fiber. Your hand is there only to support and guide it lightly and if you clamp down on it, you not only won't draft smoothly but you will make a nasty fibrous blob.

Much of the above info applies to spinning in general. It's always a case of your control over the equipment, not vicey versy.

One of the things that absolutely amazes me is the amount of horrible spinning that people are doing and then having the nerve to sell online for $30+ a skein as "novelty" yarn. Well, in fact, who would know if they were trying to spin thick-and-thin on purpose or just flogging their badly spun wares to the uneducated public?

Since there's a plethora of crappy handspun out there that is labeled "novelty" yarn, my guess is that it's the latter, rather than the former.

Have a Nice Cup of STFU
One of the things that I do in my job is to create Flash tutorials, using Camtasia. Of course, it's not all that exciting, recording the fucking cursor go here, there, and everywhere on the application that my company produces; however, it did give me the idea to do some audio for the blog at some point.

I'm not talking about podcasting. I don't want to be bothered with that. However, I rather thought it would be fun at some point to do the blog as an audio file, rather than a typed one. Just a thought. I promise I will say "cawfee" at least once.

Summer Sluggishness
There's nothing more relaxing than sitting on the deck, knitting amidst my geraniums. I love them and I have the full sun all day for them, too.



Of course, when the Punk Princess and her jabbering girlfriends hit the pool, the serenity comes to a shrieking halt. Fortunately, all the friends also have pools, so yesterday, they made like Burt Lancaster in "The Swimmer" and did the tour.

It must be great to be almost 15, have the whole summer ahead of you, and be able to look good in a bikini. I remember those days, 42 years ago, when I went to Montclair Beach Club with my friends and lay out tanning (no sunscreen, of course), with the jukebox in the snack bar blasting "Help Me Rhonda" by the Beach Boys, which was #1 today on June 3, 1965.

Even at 57, summer is a rare and handy time of year.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.--Jack Handy

I've never gone much for memes. If you don't know what a meme is, the long, pedantic explanation is here, the short one for dummies is here.

However, I have been listed by both Carol and Grandma Flea for the Thinking Blogger Award. I only just discovered that Grandma had tagged me, on my birthday, of all days. Certainly these two are thinking bloggers par excellence.

This is something I am truly honored to have been awarded. I will put it in my sidebar.

In accordance with the rules, I am listing the five knitting blogs that I feel are absolutely worthy of this:

1. QueerJoe: As long as I've known Joe, which is coming up to five years, he's contributed immensely to the political awareness of knitters. And yes, his knitting and spinning are extraordinary, too. Joe was the one who got me to thinking that maybe my spinning wasn't quite as good as it could be. He was the impetus behind my working to improve my handspun. A personal friend? Yes. My gay brother.
   
   
2. KnitterGuy: Ted has a remarkably analytical point of view towards his knitting and spinning. He has been my muse, as he has been for so many other intelligent knitters, for longer than I care to remember, first on the Knit List and now on his blog. And then there's the cooking and the dyeing, as well. Another dear friend who is greatly cherished.
   


3. Jean's Knitting: What can I say about Jean Miles, that hasn't been said? American-born, she has lived in Scotland for many years, and is a premier knitter. I've been reading her since our days on the Knit List back in the mid 90s. Jean's lace knitting site and her almost daily blogging are incisive and insightful.
   
   
4. Whoopsy Daisy!: Kerstin's beautiful photography, of things knitting and life in general, along with her often poetic style of writing, make her blog a meditative stop for me. Sometimes, just the photos give me pause to ponder.
   
   
5. Wabi Sabi: Along with Ted, Katherine (aka k) is an analytical knitter, but with a tinge of philosophical thought. Her latest post, I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won--The Existential Gardener, is perhaps not about knitting but I think indicative of her writing.
   

Having been tagged, these bloggers need to:

1. Write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

If you do not already, please go and read these blogs. They are all refreshing antidotes to the relentlessly mindless, chirpy knitting blogs that have so wallpapered the ether.

Thanks again, Carol and Grandma, for this award. I hope I keep you all thinking for a long time to come.

Apres Moi, Le Filage
The former French major at work. However, I am glad to say in English that I've done the first plying of Carol's amazing alpaca top.

Once I get it on the niddy-noddy, perhaps the true subtlety of its color shading will be more apparent--there is a lovely lavender that shows up here and there. However, I am very pleased with the way this came out. I wanted a laceweight and I got it.

The yarn to the left is commercial laceweight, the yarn to the right my plyed alpaca. Without having done a wpi, I'd say I achieved what I set out to do.

Da Mags
I stopped at Borders the other day to use up my Personal Shopping Day, which they are making obsolete, much to my chagrin. So I flipped through both Interweave Knits and Knitter's. And bought both.

Yes, you read right. I bought Knitter's, for the first time in probably three years. Why? For this, by Celeste Pinheiro:

Yeah, Celeste, I really liked this one. Enough to buy the magazine. Amazingly, either someone bound and gagged DragonBoy or for once, he almost got it right, because the issue has two other good designs by Deborah Newton and Nancy Marchant.

However, the Knitter's Design Team needs to go out and design cocktail napkins or something else other than knits. Please. Modular knitting and fugly, too. Really fugly.

And I do wish the magazine would lose its frenetic, overwrought layout. Half the time, I can't differentiate the ads from the editorial.

IK also had some fairly nice things. Socks by Veronik Avery that I liked very much, although I don't wear knee-highs, wonderful hats by Kate Gilbert, and a beautiful lace blouse by Shirley Paden. I could definitely make this sweater by Veronik.

But the kicker is an indepth article by Ann Budd on knitting socks toe-up. I would say that between this article and Mel's tutorial on Sherman short-rowing, you've got what you need. I may yet go back to fiddling with toe-ups. But at this point, I'm sticking to my old ways.

As a final note, I haven't forgotten. I will write about spinning fine yarn. But it's Sunday morning, I'm watching CBS Sunday Morning, and I need another cup of coffee. Rare and handy, that caffeine.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

It takes a long time to grow young.--Pablo Picasso

So, another year will bite the dust tomorrow. Numero 57. Yikes!

The older I get, the more ambivalent I become about my birthday. On the one hand, I'd like to celebrate the fact that I'm alive for yet another spring. Watching the mallard float on the pool upon the pool the other day made me laugh. Dopey duck. He kept diving and finding nothing.

On the other hand, I hate looking down the barrel of the gun that is 60. Sheesh. Whyfore how come I don't feel any older than, um, 35?

Yeah, numbers are numbers. I'm still the wild child I ever was. That hasn't changed much.

Any birthday dinner invitations will be gleefully accepted. Heh.

Spring on the Delaware with the Wolvies
Well, Joe and Carol beat me to it but I'll throw up some pictures, with blessedly none of me. It was a perfect spring day down in Stockton, NJ and we had a lovely brunch. I hadn't seen Kathy since Rhinebeck, so that made it all the betterer. The Punk Princess deigned to come along, knowing full well that Carol would make her pay if she didn't show.

I just can't help myself. Too kewl.

A good picture of Kathy and a rather goofy one of Carol. What does Joe have in his hand?

Live fast, die fun. Certainly my motto, too.

Why I love spring in New Jersey

They Say It's Your Birthday--It's My Birthday Too, Yeah

My sibs and I sing that to each other on our respective birthdays. Karen was born a week before me, albeit 12 years later, and brother Rich exactly 7 weeks before, 4 years later.

Carol gave me the most wonderful birthday present. Look at this--alpaca top, dyed by herself, the Mistress of All Messy Dyepots.

And you know that as soon as I got home, I hit the Matchless with a vengeance. (Well, after oiling it, fucking around with a new drive band, and fiddling with the tension.)
This begs to be laceweight. It cannot be anything else but a lace shawl. So for the hell of it, I separated the two plys of some leftover Jaggerspun (formerly used for the Melanie shawl) and compared my single. I've made some observations about spinning laceweight that I'll write about in my next entry.

Topeka! (Shut the fuck up, I'll make my puns and be damned.)

My pictures do not do this alpaca top justice. It is a magnificent sunset of pinks, reds, and a dab of purple, orgasmic to spin. The shading is unbelievable. If you don't buy from Black Bunny Fibers, then you've lost out on an experience worth having time and time again.

Open Mike Tuesday
OK, gang, we're back to this. And I promised a topic that's more positive, so here it is, courtesy of Carol, if I recall correctly:

Who's the best new knitting designer
(say within the past two years)?

I know who my choice would be, but I'll leave for you to clutter the comments.

You know it's time to go to bed when Letterman has Sanjaya doing the Top Ten. Sleep is much rarer and handier than a 17-year-old talentless wonder enjoying the last of his 15 minutes.

Please, God, let him drift back into obscurity. For music's sake.