The Knitting Curmudgeon

All the Young Dudes

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 20 May 2009 04:06:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Color is music to your eyes�Kaffe Fassett

As ever, Kaffe has nailed it. Little wonder that so many knitters I know are or have been musicians, including me. Or at the very least, music aficionados. Ted knows more about classical music than almost anyone I know, except for my friend Chris Gately. I�d love to see the two of them compete on a Music Jeopardy.

Yes, all the young dudes were at Easton Mountain in upstate NY this weekend for the Men�s Spring Knitting Retreat. I think it�s wonderful that the guys get together, without the chicks, to enjoy each other�s company, learn from each other, and run around naked. Yeah, they do. I have that on good authority. I am sorry I didn�t Joe, Ted, Lars, Stephen, Sean, and whoever else is going. But I�m going to meet Peter Jobson on Thursday! Nanna and I have been �cyber friends� for years and I�m excited that he�ll be passing through my neck of the woods on his way to Philly. I missed out on meeting Mary Helen two years ago so at least I�ll get to meet one of my Aussie friends.

Death Cab for Cutie

Great name for a band. Some of my favorite band names are Talking Heads, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, and the Dead Kennedys. I was thinking that the perfect name for a knitting list would be Death Cable for Cutie.

Except that the lists are all traveling in their own death cabs. Little wonder, given the social networking that has become the trademark of Web 2.0. Folksonomy. That�s a word you may not yet know but is a portmanteau of folk and taxomony. Social tagging.

I�m guilty of being a Twit and a FaceBook addict, although I rarely IM anyone and I never text-message, leaving that to Liz, who seems to have spastically magic fingers as only the young do these days.

Ravelry has certainly become the gigunda list of all time, encompassing the KnitDweebs and the rest of us with functioning brains and modicums of taste. In fact, I have not been on Ravelry in almost a year, for many reasons. One is time. I can shit Twits out from my BlackBerry but I can�t access Ravelry from work, since my work laptop is tightly controlled by the company for which I consult.

In some respects, the impending death of the lists isn�t a big surprise. For many people, writing an e-mail these days lacks the immediacy and the exposure that the social networking sites give to users. I�m talking about instant gratification, the disease that affects many of us, me included. I�m not predicting the death of blogs yet; however, FB entries are known to tech peeps as mini-blogs. There is a lot of truth to that. I can nail an FB or Twitter �What are you doing� in a nanosecond at virtually any time.

Where I used to get several Socknitters digests a day, now I might get one every couple of days. Frankly, I rarely had time to read them. If the lists want to survive, they will have to move from Yahoo Groups to FaceBook Groups. Otherwise, the old-time lists as we knew them will take a death cab trip into cyber history. Where they belong, I think.

Sit �n� Spin

For some reason, I�ve been more interested in spinning recently than in knitting, although I�ve picked up my knitting here and there. I suppose spring and MS&W purchases have something to do with that.

I�d like to spin some silk to knit another scarf like the one I made for my friend Susan last year.

The pattern stitch came from Heirloom Knitting. It worked well with the handpainted silk and it was enough of a challenge to keep my interest piqued (not �peaked,� which is how I�ve seen too many people spell it). This is some of the silk I bought in MD. I'm hoping to get it all spun by the end of next month so I can get cracking on the scarf.

Granddoggie Bailey

Yes, I'm a Grammy again. To a petite canine who charmed this cat lover to the nth degree.

That's Bailey with his momma Jenn. Bailey's a Pomeranian. Fluffy, foxy, and teeny. We loves Bailey, preciousss. He's quite rare and handy. Must off to bed go. It's after midnight, I've been fucking around with FaceBook, playing Bejeweled and doing badly, and now my allergies are screaming "Zyrtec."

MD Sheep Shit and Mud

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 06 May 2009 02:38:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology--Mark Twain

God knows there were throngs of both at MD. I won't be going to MD again. Frankly, the thrill of insane women throwing themselves into already crowded booths, with or without strollers, has lost its charm for me. MD is far worse a venue than Rhinebeck. Why I thought it had perhaps gotten better in the ten years since last I attended is a mystery.�

I fully understand why newbies want to go. You'll never see such wares in one place. If you have not, then do so once.�

I'll stick with Rhinebeck, which is a far better festival.

None-da-less, I was happy to see BJ and Carol, albeit briefly. I bought what I wanted and got out of Dodge at noon. Here's what I bought. Not much.

Two Golding spindles. Bottom is the Celtic Knot, the top is Bali Sweetheart #8, which has a Russian insert. This is a one-of-a-kind. Below is the picture that the Goldings have on their website.

It's .87 ounces. Perfect for what I spin.

No, I didn't buy the Ladybug. Decided against it. Instead, today I ordered something else online from Halcyon that will be far more useful to me. When it shows up, hopefully by Friday, you'll see it.

The fiber at the festival seemed to be merino-heavy. I did find some lovely silk, though. The little bags below are about a half-ounce each. They'll be spun for a scarf similar to the one I made last year.

And here's some more silk. This is tussah.�

Of course, Jerry was with me. And he thoroughly enjoyed himself, asked lots of questions, and was blown away by the Golding Shepherdess wheel. Jerry gets the whole fiber deal. And finds it interesting.�

He wandered away frequently to look at something. Thank God he's tall. Otherwise, I would have lost him in the crowds.

Finally, on the way out, I spotted this stuff--70% wool, 30% seacell. I bought enough to make a short jacket or vest.

Of course, when I'm going to find the time to do all of this is a major question. But I'll find the time.

The good news is, I will be doing some writing for Spin-Off. Amy Clarke Moore has asked me to write for her, and I will. An interview with a secret celebrity will be forthcoming. And I have other articles to pitch to her, as well. I'll keep you posted as to who, what, when, and where.

I didn't take too many pictures of the event itself. What was more important to me than going to MD S&W was the event of the next day.

Will You Still Love Me, When I'm 64?

Or when I'm 59? On Sunday, the weather was so foul, Jerry and I headed down to Virginia to see one of my oldest and dearest friends, Peggy Carroll Fallon. We've been friends since 1965, when she was a freshman and I a sophomore at Montclair High School in NJ.�

We were the writing wunderkind back then. We wrote poetry together, played in the orchestra together ('cello for her, violin for me), and shared life beyond that, when we had our children Danny and Jenn, Melissa and Corinne, literally at the same time. Then Peg married Bill, her second husband, had two more kids, and they moved to Virginia, to an 1865 farmhouse.�

Sometimes, even though you haven't seen someone in three years, it's just a nanosecond. Prior to that, we had lost each other for 25 years. Now, we're together again. The only thing missing was the third piece--our Dottie.�

The love of a friend is inestimably rare and handy. Leaving her on Sunday was like ripping my arm out of its socket. But we'll be together again, shortly. Because I'm going back to old Virginny soon.

Let the Birthday Games Begin

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 12:30:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

What a drag it is getting old--Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, "Mother' s Little Helper"

So the Glimmer Twins wrote that song when they were 25? And now the two are going to be 66 this year.�

It's early, it's my birthday, Jerry's still sleeping, and I'm out on the porch writing. A bit chilly but the weather is going to heat up to the high 80s today. Yeah, thank ya Jeeeeezus.�

The celebration started yesterday when I walked into work and found that my coworkers had decorated my desk.

Yes, that's a Nerf gun on my laptop. We do occasionally have shootouts at the Okey-Dokey corral. They sprinkled my desk with little birthday cutouts. Our team has five birthdays this week alone, so we're having a group party next week.

And then Jerry came up last night, with these in hand:

Plus a card that I can't display. Suffice it to say that I laughed my ass off when I read it after midnight. He was jonesin' for me to read it but I wouldn't, until it was officially my birthday. I know he has a present for me, but he's still cuttin' ZZZZZZZZZs.

My beloved gay brother, Joe, sent me this:

I love the colors! Damn him! Now I want to wind the skeins and start designing a pair of men's socks. One of my colleagues, Bobby, who's a sweetheart and young enough to be my son, loves what he calls "Funky Man Socks" so I think that's a perfect name.

And finally, here's what I'm doing right now, out on the porch, with coffee and Cleo at my side.

I had to laugh yesterday. My cell phone goes off and it's Liz. "Happy Birthday, Gram!" Um, Liz, it's tomorrow. She got so upset that she got it wrong, I had to calm her down over the phone. And then we laughed. Liz just got her first job, so she's up to her earballs. �But getting an "I love ya, Gram" was a fine pre-birthday present, for sure.

Tomorrow is grandson Ian's 12th birthday. Ian, aka Birthday Present, because he came damned close to being born on his Gram's birthday. So it's a big fambly get-together down at Corinne's house, with ganze Familia attending. Cake, coffee, and schmoozing. I'm so lucky to have such a fabulous family. We all love each other. And everyone is rare and handy.

It's All Relative. Mommy, Daddy, Baby, President

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:09:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.-- Albert Einstein

When my youngest daughter Corinne was tiny, she would identify her family as "Mommy. Daddy. Baby. President." I was never quite sure whether she was the Baby or the President. Perhaps her sister can clarify. But I doubt it. There's nothing better than a child's imagination. God knows both my children had imaginations that ran rampant, particularly Jenn.

Which is why I've decided that I will become even more childish than I am now. It's the only way to survive.

Happy belated birthday to my Sissyboo, Ms. Scrappy. She was my 12th birthday present. The gift that keeps on giving, as they say.�

Here's why Kar and Mar are glad that Mammy had them�in April.

This picture was taken at Branch Brook Park this past Sunday, a county park in Newark/Belleville, NJ, that rivals DC with its cherry blossoms. Jerry and I were out and about, wanting to enjoy the sunshine, so he drove over and we cruised through the park.�

And then the weekend before, we drove along the Delaware River.

It's fucking 41 degrees and raining out, as I write this. Feh.

Obligatory Knitting (and Spinning) Shit

Well, almost one sleeve done on Jerry's sweater. As you can see, Cleo does not understand the concept of being nonplussed. She decided to step into the photo, something she never does. Little attention whore.�

If that isn't a look of disdain, I don't know what it is. Cleo is such a non-feline, I'm ashamed to call her a cat. I sat with my spindle last night, twirling it in front of her. She turned her back and walked away. No interest in yarn, no interest in cat toys, eats catnip and immediately falls asleep. Jesus.�

I've been fucking around with my Comet spindle again, this time using some Romney that I found in the fiber storage bin.

�It's actually spinning up nicely and I'm now satisfied that I can spindle. I still prefer a wheel, howsome ever.�

Panera Posse

I managed to make it to the Mt. Olive Panera last Wednesday for the knitting get-together. Only five of us showed up: Me, BJ, Linda, Jeanne, and later, Crystal. But I did take a picture of their gruesomenesses.

From left, it's Linda, Beej, and Jeanne. Crystal showed up after the photo shoot. I did admire Jeanne's bag that she made herself, of fabric called "Knitmare on Main Street." My favorite motif is the skeleton slumped in the armchair with the knitting. That's how I feel, most nights.

It's funny. I've never been much for groups, never joined much of anything other than orchestra in high school, dropped out of Girl Scouts because I was bored and the girls in the troop, other than Dottie, were annoying. But I enjoy going to this group when I can muster up the energy on Wednesday nights to make the 70-mile roundtrip after work.�

MD Not Cheap and Wool

Well, I'm ready. Got my pennies together, although I still haven't decided if I want to get the Ladybug. I am not usually so pussified when making a decision but the little schizo voice in my head keeps saying, "Do you REALLY need another wheel?" The schizo voice obviously mimicks my mother quite well.�

I'm bringing Jerry with me and my gut thoughts run to "do you really want him to know what you spend on this shit?" Of course, given fiber shoved into my eyeballs, Jerry will vanish for a brief time. You know he won't be any kind of shopping deterrent.

Twitz

I finally started using Twitter more often and stuck it into the sidebar the other night. As I was reading in e-Week, Twitter and FaceBook are now known as "mini-blogs." With Twitter limited to 140 characters, I'd say that was past "mini" but probably just enough for anyone's blather, including mine.�

I remember learning about stream-of-consciousness writing when I was a freshman in high school and thinking that it was a very cool way to write. I seem to recall that I tried my hand at it, possibly for a homework assignment. In fact, this blog is plenty stream of consciousness, when you come right down to it. I rarely think much of it through until I'm typing. I may take pictures, may use 'em, may not.�

So consider this true WYSIWYG kind of crap.

Hippo Bird-day

Friday will be my last day of being in my 50s because, as my mother so kindly reminded me yesterday, Saturday will be the first day of my 60s. I think she's enjoying the fact. Considering that she will be 86 in August but looks and acts like she's in her 60s, I figure I'm about 35 or so, really. What my mother knits would put a lot of knitters half her age to shame. She just finished the Mari Dembrow cardigan that I've been working on. And started another lace shawl.�

While I spent some time last week feeling a bit sorry for myself because damn it, I'm getting to be an old lady, I rallied and decided, fuck it. I'll never lose my attitude. Mammy hasn't, my grandmother didn't, I won't either. And I've passed this along to Jenn and Corinne, with Liz being the rarest and handiest budding curmudgeon of them all. It's all relative.

Maaaaac Attack!

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 01:45:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith.�Steve Jobs

As a geek and a very early Mac user�I began with one of the very first 512K Mac Plus models in 1984, right after the Lisa�my segue into the land of Billy Gates and PCs was an event over which I had no control. In 2000, when I left the land of magazine publishing where Macs reigned supreme and went over to the Dark Side to become a tech writer, I was tossed kicking and screaming into a PC world.

As I journeyed through the tech world, I found that I wasn�t alone in my disdain for Microsoft�most developers really hate Windows, despise Vista, and love the Mac operating system or Open Source. Linux is big, too. (Of course, being a SharePoint administrator and architect does rather tie me to Billy. But SP is arguably the best thing that ever came out of Microsoft.)

I caved and bought a Dell desktop and laptop, sadly dumping my old Mac G3. It�s been almost seven years since I�ve touched a Mac. Well, huzzah. I bought a MacBook. It�s almost better than sex. I did this entry on the Mac and while it's a bit fucked up, I'll get back into the swing of OS X soon enough.

Blog Redesign

My boss Rick, who as the Web Team Leader, gets to use a Mac, showed me how to use my Mac to redesign my blog.

After almost 7 years, I�ve about had it with Blogger. Because I use Blogger for the page layout and other stuff but I publish my entries to my own domain, www.knittingcurmudgeon.com, Blogger won�t allow me to use widgets. And I have to hard-code anything I want to change on the template.

So over the course of the next month or so, I�ll be working on a completely new look. I�m thinking I�ll debut it on the blog�s 7^th anniversary.

Book Acquisitions

I�ve been on a binge lately. Well, for me. I am so incredibly sick of seeing the shitload of how-to-knit books (I�m tempted to do a count of how many how-tos are in print), it�s always a pleasure to find some good books that presume you know your shit to some degree.

There�s been four additions to my library lately: Cheryl Oberle�s Knitted Jackets, The Essential Guide to Color Knitting Techniques, French Girl Knits, and Pretty in Punk. You know who'll benefit from the last title. All were worth every penny but The Essential Guide is unquestionably the most comprehensive book on the subject that I've ever read. It covers all color knitting, including working with hand-dyed yarns. That discussion alone is worth buying the book.

I have an extensive library but few how-to reference books. My preferred books for that category is the Vogue Knitting book and all of Maggie Righetti�s books. I own Principles of Knitting but never use it. It�s a ponderous tome and frankly, grossly overwritten and opinionated. I understand that June Hiatt has been updating it but I�ve heard that rumor for three years now.

Need to Know

I�ve managed to muddle along for years using four cast-ons: long tail, provisional, cable, and knitted-on. I don�t feel I need to learn yet another cast-on. The Double SwitchBack Rustic Arcadian cast-on ain't in my playbook. These four fill the bill.

Decreases? Well, those are actually more limited in the number of methods than increases. I never decrease on the edge of anything. But you know that, don�t you.

In lacework, I will make a judgment call on how I decrease. Still, decreases are always variations that are worked within the same number of stitches�if you have to decrease 2 sts in a lace pattern, you can either slip 1, knit 2 together and then pass the slipped stitch over, knit 3 together, or knit 2 together, knit 1 and pass the 2 into 1 dec�d stitches over it. With decreases, it�s always a matter of how the finished decrease looks that will determine your choice. You don�t have to use what the designer has chosen if you prefer another method. I often change my decrease methods to improve the look.

Increases are another story. I collect 'em. Depending upon the stitch pattern, you often must use a specific increase method. This is driven by the way the stitch pattern is formed and how the increase is blended into the pattern.

Bind-offs? I have a couple up my sleeve, as it were.

The sum total of my knowledge could fill a short book. Which is why I would never bother writing a how-to. It's getting tiresome to see yet another of these appear on the scene. I trashed my how-to book three years ago because I didn't want to waste my time or anyone else's by rehashing the same old shit.

My Writing Shit

Speaking of books, mine continue apace. I've put Rock Sox to one side because the other book has become far more meaningful to me. Suffice it to say that I am following advice Shannon Okey gave me awhile back, advice that I put aside and then reconsidered. I will be asking the Punk Princess to do the cover. Liz is a talented artist and the one person I can be sure will come through for me.

Most of my friends have seen this picture and are probably sick of looking at it, but this is Liz at her induction into the National Art Honor Society last December, with one of her pieces in back of her. She was almost 10 when I first started writing this blog and long-time readers have watched her grow up on these here pages. She's her Gangsta Gram's girl, for sure. Rare, handy, with a wicked sense of humor.

Sun? Flowers? WTF are those? GIMME SHELTER...on the beach.

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:11:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Spring is nature�s way of saying �Let�s party!��Robin Williams

Party on, Mar. Party on, Tonant Weaders. Even though as I write this, it�s currently around 40 degrees Fahrenheit here in beautiful NEPA, the vernal equinox has arrived.

Ravelry Boohaha Feh-stival
I truly appreciated all of your comments re: the last post. Your support means more to me than I can express. Even though I do write for myself, I�d be lying if I didn�t say that it makes me happy that others find something in what I write. I�ve still not bothered reading the thread. I left that up to you.

I�m not going away too soon. So the mean girls on Ravelry(I loved that analogy) are just going to have to take their pom-poms and perform obscene acts with cheap yarn.

So now, back to business.

Rock On
Jerry had a surprise for me on Saturday. He took me to see Fleetwood Mac at the Izod Center in the Jersey Meadowlands. Classic. Was that not a sweet thing to do? He�d been planning this surprise for a couple of months. And managed to keep his mouth shut, too. Nieces Kate and Michele came along and the four of us had a great time.

Fleetwood Mac was amazing. Especially since they are all over 60 now, including Stevie Nicks, who looked great. She isn�t doing her whirling dervish routine anymore, though. I suppose she has arthritis like me. I can still whirl, though, when the situation calls for it.

Besides knitting, music is a huge part of my life. Once upon a time, I was a musician...guitar and violin. I still play at the guitar, although not as often as I should.

The most important tool that a tech writer can have is an iPod Shuffle. In most places I�ve worked, writers are allowed to listen to them because music eliminates the office bullshit talking. No, I don�t have my own office. I have a wall. Not even a true cubicle, just a desk, with an overhead cabinet, and two foot-wide sides where I hang my calendar and other junk.

Here�s what�s on the Shuffle: The Stones, Tom Petty, Springsteen, The Grateful Dead, The Yardbirds, The Who, Warren Zevon, Talking Heads, Billy Joel, and a bunch of others. Rock is particularly inspiring when I�m making tutorial videos.

MD Sheep & Wool
I�m definitely going. And dragging poor Jeremiah with me, although he�s wonderfully supportive and has actually gone to Stix �n� Stitches, my local yarn shop down in Montclair, NJ, with me (he fell asleep on Sheila�s couch, though). So I expect to meet some of you, right? And please, don�t give me that �I saw you but I was afraid to approach you.� Nonsense. My friends think I�m likeable, so don�t fear the reaper, OK?

I can't decide whether to buy the Ladybug or put money towards a new Mac laptop. Or maybe not spend it at all, even though I can afford to buy one or the other. My job is as secure as a job can be in this climate, but I've been loathe to spend money lately. However, I will buy something at MD, to be sure.

Jerry's Aran

Getting the back done. In fact, I should really be knitting and not writing. Halfway up the armholes, so it should be done by this weekend. And then, a sleeve.

I've decided to use the off-kilter braid as the center sleeve panel, offset by the three baby cables on each side. The braid is just wide enough to work for the saddle shoulder.

The Punk Princess Marches On
One of Liz's friends put this up on FaceBook. My little tin soldier had just hit her head while at the mall, how I don't know. And why she was in her band uniform is a mystery, unless they had just had practice and then she and her little gangsta friends made haste to their hangout.

Hard to believe she's going to be 17 this coming July. Still tiny, though. But quite the adult. Rare, handy, and a smartass to boot. Truly my blood. I was so much like her at that age. Brazen, artsy, and never afraid to run my mouth.

Come On Baby, Let's Do the Twist

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 02:14:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wasn't planning on writing anything today because I spent eight and a half hours today hammering out words that will hopefully help a lot of people learn to use SharePoint, a Microsoft web-based collaborative platform where people can share documents, files, ideas, and many other things. Last week, it was creating seven videos to get people up and running on a new application release.

Some may think it's rather ironic that I'm a SharePoint administrator and architect, among my other work skills. In fact, it isn't. It's one more item in the list of things that I do in my profession.

Yes, I know there's a discussion about me and my blog on Ravelry. I haven't read it and I won't. I really don't care whether there are negative comments about me. I probably haven't cared about what other people think since I was five years old. I don't know these people and frankly, I'm not interested.

The fact is, people who read my blog think they know me. They don't. Do I suffer fools gladly? You know I don't. Do I strive for excellence? Always. Am I compassionate? Yes. I've spent many years helping people, be it with knitting problems, technical issues, even dealing with grief and mental illness. I've never said no to anyone who asked me for help. Ever. And I never will.

People write me frequently with questions about knitting, spinning, manic depression, dealing with the death of a spouse and I always try to give them a shoulder and whatever answers I've found in my journey.

That said, I do believe in taking responsibility for your own deal and relying upon yourself as much as possible. That doesn't mean not asking for help when you need it. It means setting a bar for yourself and making every honest effort to achieve excellence on your own. It's the ultimate satisfaction. Excellence needs to make a big comeback. If it doesn't, we're fucked.

Jerry always tells me that I should be proud of what I have accomplished in my life. I am, but my satisfaction and achievements are things I keep to myself, like a snotrag that I can take out when I snuffle and need to rotor-rooter my sinuses. And I do snuffle, frequently.

As a child and a young adult, I was a chronic underachiever. I fucked off all through school, winging it because I could read fast, write well, and BS my way through tests and papers. I never cared enough about school to bother doing my best. Getting Bs and Cs was fine with me.

And then, I screwed up college on a manic-depressive rollercoaster, married a guy who was an anchor, and had kids at 19 and 21. I learned the hard way that you have to be responsible for what you learn because maybe nobody is going to hand you shit. It became a challenge for me, one that stays with me to this day and will die only when I do.

Recently, I began to consider shutting the blog down. I began it in the throes of grief and now, almost seven years later, I thought that perhaps it was time to move on. The question was, do I still have anything to say? I don't know. Perhaps. I write for myself and at this point, writing my book is dearer to my heart, a legacy that I can leave to Liz and Ian, so that they know what kind of a life their grandmother has had. I wished that my grandmother had written a book so that I could have delved into her because I loved her so much.

Joe convinced me not to shut down, for reasons that I won't go into. But suffice it to say, my gay brother is damned smart.

So, if you want to get to know me, meet me at MD Sheep & Wool and/or Rhinebeck. I've gotten to know a few of my readers personally and that is the greatest benefit of writing a blog. Otherwise, if you haven't met me, shut the fuck up. Although I may straighten your ass out if you run your mouth in my Comments, I don't assume I know you at all. And if I have to rap your cyber knuckles for something stupid you say, I'm sure I don't need you as a friend. I have plenty, all of whom I love dearly.

Is This the Party to Whom I am Speaking?

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:35:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I�m still clinging to my BlackBerry. They�re going to pry it out of my hands.�Barack Obama

Fortunately for the Prez, he�s being allowed to keep his BB, now with special security-enhanced software.

You have to love a President who�s savvy enough to appoint a CIO for the country. It�s about time.

And I understand his love for his CrackBerry. I can�t access my personal e-mail at work, or for that matter, FaceBook. But I can on my BB.

I guess FB is out of the question for him, though.

We loves Web 2.0, precioussss.

Grouped Up
I�ve never been a joiner but lately, I�ve been going to a Wednesday night knitting group and enjoying it. After a day filled with tech crap, it�s good to clear my brain at least one night a week, see other people, and talk shop.

Last week, I brought my Joy and BJ brought her Louet and we had a little spinning lesson. I think Beej finally got the hang of it. I know that it helps a lot to watch other people draft. Talking to other knitters is good. The quality of knitting that I�ve seen in this group gives me some hope that the bar is starting to be raised.

It All Starts With a Slip Knot, Ya Know
It�s always been a concern of mine that knitters in general are overly dependent on sources other than themselves for help. It�s fine to ask for help if you�re hopelessly screwed up and you tried hard to do it yourself first before screaming SOS. However, I�m afraid that it�s been a national malaise for a long time, this �I�m owed an explanation, hold my hand� attitude.

I and other friends my age, like Loopy, had no resources back in the early �70s, when we picked up our needles and began to knit seriously. I cut my teeth on Mon Tricots, those wonderful French knitting magazines that I discovered around 1977. I read every set of directions for every garment and tried to visualize what was going on, usually in the bathroom, where I do my best reading. And I�d pull out my needles and some scrap yarn and practice stitch patterns. There was no one to ask so I learned by trial and error, mostly error. When I discovered Elizabeth Zimmermann in 1978, I realized that I wasn�t a blind follower because I had bumbled and stumbled my way into knitting competency.

Is it good that there are now You Tube videos for virtually every knitting function? I think so but there�s something to be said for figuring shit out on your own. It builds self-reliance and confidence, as well as the ability to troubleshoot.

In other words, think for yourself before you ask everyone on Ravelry what you should do. It is a good thing that there is a wealth of useful resources available now. However, it�s the extraneous shit that tends to boggle the mind.

Old Sweaters Never Die
I dragged my first Alice Starmore, the Morning Glory vest from Stillwater, out of the cedar chest this morning. I hadn�t worn it in several years. The vest is now 12 years old. (Just for shits �n� giggles, I looked up Stillwater on Alibris.com�the going prices is $232. Gawd.)

Other than one button missing, the vest is in great shape. I tend to keep my stuff for a long time. The oldest sweater I have dates back to 1983, a Perry Ellis bolero that I made from Manos. It still looks like new, amazingly. Manos tends to pill like a bitch, which is why I rarely work with it.

Spinning Shit
Well, besides helping BJ with her spinning, I was the happy recipient last week of arguably the best spinning book ever written�The Intentional Spinner by Judith MacKenzie McCuin, published by Interweave Press.

This book, besides its comprehensive chapters on fiber�animal, vegetable, and synthetic�gives the most lucid explanation of drafting methods that I�ve ever read. Mabel Ross�s book, Handspinning, was my Bible when I was learning how to spin. And I still defer to her �measure, count� advice. But McCuin, with her excellent explanations and photographs, takes the subject matter and makes it comprehensible to rank beginners.

My one beef about the book are her ops cit for Spin Off articles from past issues. What I call �See thises�. I would have preferred seeing these placed in the Bibliography and Further Reading appendix rather than directly in the text. It�s one thing when you�re writing a textbook for historians or scientists. It�s another when you write for hobbyists. When you place this kind of citation in the body, the reader gets cranky because it�s highly likely that they don�t have access to the issue in question, nor will they be able to get it. Given that Interweave publishes Spin Off, it would have been far simpler for McCuin to include passages from the articles in question rather than tease the reader with �for more detailed information.�

I say, gimme the detailed info HERE and NOW.

The point that McCuin makes in the book and one that I�ve always posited is that an expert spinner is not one who can spin thin. It�s a spinner who can spin whatever weight of yarn they desire. This is the true test of a skilled spinner and one that I�m working towards achieving.

Jerry�s Aran
I cranked away at this over the weekend and managed to get more than 36 rows done. Cabling is slow going.

All in all, I�m pleased with the results so far. As is Jerry.

In several ways, this is far from a traditional Aran. For one thing, it�s not knit in bainin, the oiled Irish yarn that is scarcer than hen�s teeth to find. Jerry already has a Aran that he bought in Ireland on a trip there some years ago, so I wanted to make him something a bit lighter. My use of seed stitch as a side filler is also not particularly traditional.

The stitch patterns that I chose are not seen very often in the Aran sweaters made in Ireland. Frequently, they incorporate varying combinations of a double moss stitch-filled diamond central panel and other basic symmetrical central panels, simple six-row cables, Trinity stitch, double moss for filler, plus traveling stitch patterns such as Marriage Lines and Tree of Life. If you examine these sweaters, they are very basic in their design. Wonderful sweaters, to be sure. But not terribly complex. However, lately I�ve seen some Arans that are pretty complicated and done in different colors along with the traditional ecru.

It would be more accurate to call my design an Aran-style pullover. I�m thinking I may design a really traditional Aran for myself, since I don�t own one. Yeah, kiss me, I�m German. And now it's time to help Mr. McCarty use Internet Explorer. He may be rare and handy but not computer literate.

I Meant What I Said and I Said What I Meant

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 01:19:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Shorth is better than length.�Dr. Seuss

I think all knitting directions should replace length with shorth. Although I think it should actually be sherth.

Long = length. Short = sherth.

Catch the vowel consistency?

Today would have been Theodor Geisel�s 105^th birthday. I�m old enough to remember when Cat in the Hat was published in 1957. I was seven and had been reading since I was four. But the sheer goofiness of the book won my little heart.

My favorite Seuss book is McElligot�s Pool, a book that has been overshadowed by other Seuss works.

That book, and Alice in Wonderland / Through the Looking Glass, inspired my fertile imagination, which really needed no encouragement. I was a whimsical child and I identified with Alice, who rebelled against the boring and repressive Victorian lifestyle she lived by escaping into Wonderland.

Dr. Seuss offered me the same escape. So, what's your favorite Seuss book? I loved reading Green Eggs and Ham to my girls, particularly since Corinne only ate about five things as a child: hot dogs, steak, my chicken and cashews stir-fry, mac and cheese, and McDonald's hamburgers (she hated mine).

Knock, Knock. Who�s There? Aran? Aran Who?

Aran�t you glad I didn�t say Orange?

Sorry. An uncontrollable pun leakage. I�m not going to explain the original joke. If you don�t know it, Google it.

The Dale Falk for Jerry�s Aran finally came in on the slow boat from Denmark last Thursday.

My swatch showed me a few things. First, I needed to move the two tight plaits closer to the center motif�I had placed them a bit too far away and as a result, they seemed drifty rather than anchored. Second, the one baby cable was too weak to have any impact. So I added two more. Finally, it was clear that the single moss stitch added absolutely nothing and in fact, detracted from the baby cable. I decided to use simple seed stitch as a filler. It�s quietly innocuous and wouldn�t detract from any of the other stitch patterns.

Years ago, someone told me that an odd number of items catches the eye far better than an even number. This had something to do with flower arranging, as I recall. Back then, I didn�t know anything about the Fibonacci Sequence. Jerry�s Aran has 3 main design elements�the central panel, its tight plaits on either side, and the rambling braid. If you count the three baby cables as one element, plus the seed stitch filler, there are a total of five elements: Three major, two minor. An odd number. Think about how an even number of elements might appear. I don�t think they�d work nearly as well.

I can do the sweater calculations from scratch but I usually use Sweater Wizard because I�m intrinsically lazy and because it generates schematics too. Based on the swatch�s layout, I knew that I�d need at least 116 stitches for the bulk of the front/back patterning, excluding the filler stitches on each side. Once I plugged in Jerry�s measurements and the gauge, everything fell into place. My final numbers, 132 for cast-on and 148 for the body, works perfectly with my layout.

I debated on fiddling with the ribbing, maybe sticking some small cables therein, and then decided to leave it the fuck alone. There�s enough going on in the body of the sweater. Less is always more. I like 2/2 ribbing. Good elasticity and better than 1/1 to knit.

Being a tech writer means that I�m relatively organized when pulling together directions and associated stuff, such as the charts. Everything goes into a dedicated folder on my local drive, and then I plug all the pieces�charts, directions, and schematics�into a Word document. (Sweater Wizard will export to Word, although the formatting sucks.) The directions get a quick edit. I print them out, shove �em into plastic sleeves, and then into a binder.

As I go along, I�ll mark up the directions with any additional information that needs to be added.

Here it is�ribbing is done and 20 rows of the pattern, so far.

I've decided on the motifs for the sleeve. When I get there, you'll see how I've designed the pattern layout. It's going to have saddle shoulders, so I'm sure you can use your head and figure it the fuck out, right?

I've been asked if I'm going to publish this design. Yes. I'll sell it from here, probably. The old Cafe Press routing, most likely. I'll do the actual leaflet, .pdf it, and that's how it will go.

I miss being a magazine editor. Funny...I haven't thought about editing magazines in a long time, being up to my eyeballs in tech writing. But lately, doing these video tutorials for work, I've had a chance to screw around with graphics, editing the video, and trying to put a little artistic imagination into an otherwise dull corporate dealie.

Fibroid Events

Post Rhinebeck Retreat Survey

I�ll be talking to Ted soon about this. The results of the survey have given me a pretty good idea of what�s what and I wasn't terribly surprised at the high scorers. Here are the results, with 43 respondents so far.

Ted and I had discussed having this retreat at Easton Mountain; however, they would prefer a 4-day event. That doesn't matter, though. There are, I'm sure, plenty of places in the Rhinebeck vicinity, that would be quite suitable. I think that this survey is pretty indicative of what would fly. I know it's certainly what I would like: A 2-day, laid-back retreat, with some of us doing the teaching. I would certainly teach finishing and the computer bit, Ted and I could both do lace, and I'm sure there may be other qualified people who may like to teach. I was amused that only 9% wanted a "name" teacher. And that no one was particularly interested in an intarsia session.

MD Sheep & Wool

I think I�ve gotten Jerry to agree to go to MD S&W this year. We were thinking about going away for a long spring weekend anyway, so why not? Frederick is lovely that time of year�at this point, any place in the spring would be lovelier than this fucking mess.

It�ll be a good dress rehearsal for Rhinebeck, I suppose. Jerry is tremendously supportive of what I do, especially since he's the main recipient of my shit these days. I don�t know who�s going to MD, other than my friend BJ, but that doesn�t matter. It's not that I need more crap but I am truly jonesin' for that Schacht Ladybug.

So, despite the hideous weather, I've been doing and feeling great. Honestly, Jerry has made the difference. And it's so nice to have someone who loves those Raggi socks I make. I've got another pair on the needles that I'll try to finish this weekend for him. Raggi socks are truly rare and handy foot coverings. As Jeremiah is a rare and handy man--Lally columns and other construction projects around the house. Yikes.

Is it fucking spring yet?

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 02:22:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. --Mel Brooks.

Well, God knows I've got a big fucking mouth, so I guess I'm living colorfully. Although my mother keeps reminding me that in little more than a year, I'll be 60. Yeah, and you'll be how old, Ma? Heh. I'm going to see Black 47 on St. Patrick's Day and it looks like Clapton and Winwood in June. Rock on.

Been busy, as usual. The new job is just perfect but time consuming, as my kind of work always is. But then, they do pay me twice a month. So no bitching here. Plus, being with Jerry sucks up writing time, and I�m sure not bitching about that.

I realized the other day that I originally started the blog as grief therapy. Not that it filled the void but it did give me focus when I needed it. Had Jimmy lived, I don�t know if I would have gotten so involved in writing, although I had been an editor/writer for many years prior to 2002.

The grief therapy ended long ago but I was still pretty much alone, with work, knitting, and friends taking the place of a significant other. Now I spend my weekends with Jeremiah, still knitting but not writing. At the beginning of a relationship, it�s important to spend the time building it. Now that we�ve built it, I�m sure Jerry won�t mind if I spend an hour or two on the weekend writing. Considering that he�s mucking around with fixing up his house, he now has a time sucker-upper too. So I'll get back into the swing of things.

Generally speaking, if you want to know what I'm doing, I've gotten into the FaceBook thing. Most of my friends and family are on it and I enjoy sharing pictures with my kids and friends.

Plus, the Punk Princess, who has 900+ friends, plays on FB a lot. She made an unbelievably funny video for her history class...she plays Hitler. You have to see it to believe it. Produced it, edited it, and starred in it, along with friends Jennifer and Miranda. Yikes.

Sox
I almost never make socks other than my plain vanilla 60-stitch socks with the common heel. I don�t use Magic Loop, don�t knit from the toe up, don�t change a damned thing because these socks FIT.

I don�t care about fancy-schmancy socks, which is why I never buy sock pattern books, although I am designing socks for Rock Sox that are fairly complex and I love doing that. For myself, though, I can�t be bothered.

I wear my socks with jeans and I am not going to invest in those see-through clogs just to show off some stitch pattern. My socks are strictly utilitarian. I use self-patterning yarn and that�s it. Nobody�s gonna see some hot-shit lace patterned socks if I�m wearing pants. However, I know lots of people love to knit socks with a challenge in them. And they are good learning tools for those knitters who want to try a new technique or stitch pattern.

Jerry�s Aran
In between making my basic 60-stitch socks, I laid out the Aran patterns, wrote the set-up directions, and got the 32-stitch repeat done. Besides the gauge factor, the swatch gives me the opportunity to add some smaller patterns if needed. I haven�t yet decided whether I want more or not. I took two pictures, one that shows the truer color of the yarn,
the other below that shows the stitch detail a little better but isn't color true.

I played around with the direction of the baby cable on the left side. About 2/3 of the way, I decided to see how a left-leaning cable would affect the single moss stitch filler. I wasn�t too happy with the definition between the moss stitch and the right-leaning cable, so I thought perhaps doing this change would sharpen the definition. I may also slightly decrease the number of reverse stockinette stitches between the motifs.

The yarn, Dale Falk, is on backorder from Denmark, so for the time being, I�ll work on the stitch pattern layout and do the calculations for the sweater. The sleeves will be saddle-shoulders. And perhaps finish my Dembrow cardigan, which has been fermenting in my project basket and possibly growing mold or fungi.

Spring Stuff
I did some surfing around to see if any of the magazines had a preview of their Spring issues. Vogue Knitting has never done previews, which is a smart idea, given their generally awful offerings. Knitter�s may have a Spring preview but as far as I could tell, it�s either not gone live yet or it�s buried somewhere in that mess of a website.

IK�s preview is up. A few nice things but all in all, once again underwhelming, with few challenges for advanced knitters. Too many garments with more than 75% stockinette. The Fountain Pen shawl was about the only challenge I saw, and for an experienced knitter, not a big challenge.

The photography is still very static, the models less than memorable. Of course, you could always make the argument that the garments are the show but I offer up Rowan�s magazine as my rebuttal. Rowan puts American magazines to shame. I would far rather spend my money on Rowan�s publications than the American rags. Even if I don�t care for some of the garments, they are so beautifully modeled and photographed that the most unappealing item looks great.

And will someone please tell me why designers persist in creating spring and summer garments using worsted-weight cotton? Other than those allergic to wool, I see little use for this shit. If you don�t know how to handle cotton, you�ll end up with a saggy balloon-y nightmare, the odds of this happening being greater, the heavier the cotton.

Rhinebeck Rewind Retreat
Ted and I were talking the other weekend. Always a dangerous thing--we do go on. Me, bitching about not being able to go to the guys� knitting retreat at Easton Mountain to see him as well as Peter Jobson, who will be coming from Oz.

We started discussing the possibility of having a post-Rhinebeck retreat this year, for a few days. So I�ve set up a survey to get your feedback. It seems to me that Rhinebeck is altogether too short and not always easy for friends to meet and spend time just BSing and knitting together.

If there�s enough interest, Ted and I will do this retreat. So give use your feedback.

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Well, lunchtime is over and it�s back to making tutorial videos using Captivate, the Adobe answer to Camtasia, which I've used as well in the past. Quite fun, actually. One of these days I might fool around with doing a knitting tutorial, although I don�t know about what. Suggestions? I won�t get this posted until tonight because I can�t access Blogger from my work computer. It�s locked down, majorly. Websense, the site blocker, is not rare and handy. It�s a pain in the ass.

Yes, Shrub's Gone! And Yes, We Did!

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:51:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.--Barack Obama

The Bush regime is gone. I'm working from home today but I stopped at 11:30 and gave the inauguration my full attention. The night Obama was elected, I know we all cried tears of relief. It's been 8 miserable years and the country overcame their stagnancy and regained their hope. What a magnificent speech Obama gave. I'm not listening to the talking heads dissect it. Just want to savor the moment.

Can-do. We can don that national persona once again. It's never really been lost, just masked in despair. The time has come for us all to raise up our faces to the sun and get to work. We can get out of this mess we're in. Hard work, patience, and perseverance will prevail now. And Dallas can keep that son of a bitch. I hope that Obama and the Congress have the balls to go after him, Cheney, and Rove for their crimes. They need to pay, not to get a free ride.

Jerry's Aran

I've been doodling around with this. There is a method to my madness. I'll be chronicling this sweater design, from the beginning to the end, as I go along because I think it may be of value to you, if not to me.

Long before Janet Szabo published her book, I had designed several Aran sweaters, two of which were commissions for friends. I had a process then that was very similar to Janet's, simply because there is really no other sane way to design an Aran.

I've picked the stitch patterns and I've begun fitting them into the front. As the tech writer I am, I'll be systematic about describing my process.

Pick the central panel first, then fill in the others. Use Fibonacci numbers, as suggested by Janet. My design will have three main design elements: the central panel, a tight plait next to it, dividers, and then a braid.

Scan the stitch patterns from their respective books and insert into a Word document.

Set up an Excel file for layout and preliminary stitch number calculations.

The latter step is very helpful. Rather than make a line sketch of the pattern placement, I use a spreadsheet for a layout and then insert the number of stitches for each pattern below. I then do a sum of the stitches that will constitute roughly 90% of the entire front/back, with the side filler stitches left blank until the actual swatch is finished.

This is just half of the row, since I couldn't get the entire thing captured as a readable graphic. I do the entire row, with the right side stitch patterns mirrored. But you get the idea.

I guesstimate my gauge so that I have a rough idea of what I need to cast on when I swatch. I'll be using Dale Falk, so 5.5 sts/in. is not unrealistic, although it may vary slightly. Using this figure, I can remove stitch patterns that may add too many stitches, since I need to have a decent number of filler stitches on each side to accommodate the armhole shaping. I removed the twisted divider stitch and accompanying purls to acheive this but left it in the spreadsheet if the swatch's measurements will allow me to include it.

I now have a road map for swatching. The spreadsheet will help me do the final calculations for the cast-on, given a 10% reduction for the ribbing.

The central panel and the large braid still have to be charted--I've done the tight plait. I'm going to try to get those done tonight on Knit Visualizer.

If this design turns out the way I'm hoping, I'll sell it. Might as well make some money from my efforts.

Winter IK

I have to say, I was underwhelmed. However, I loved Sean Riley's Harvard Square hat and Laura Grutzeck's Ropes and Picots cardigan. I'll make Sean's hat, definitely, since I need one and I love the graphic approach of his design. Laura's cardigan will have to go on hold for awhile, since I just ordered and received three more Mari Debrow patterns. I've got enough to keep me busy for the next ten years, at least.

IK wasn't terrible, it was just lackluster to me. I liked the socks OK, the mittens were a bit late in the season. Why they weren't in the gift issue is beyond me. Otherwise, it was kinda boring. If I see another "Why We Knit" article, I'm gonna spew. Do we really need to analyze it yet again? For what reason? Who gives a flying fuck why we knit?

Interweave has some good books out, though. Books I will get asap. Carol's sock book, of course. Knitted Lace of Estonia. And maybe French Girl Knits. I need more books like a hole in the head. Every time I've moved, it's been the books that were a royal pain in the ass.

One Thing Finished

I got the mitts done and I've been wearing them constantly in this hellish weather. They're quite funky against my black winter jacket.

I think when I do Sean's hat, I'll match two of the colors. Yikes! I'll probably make it this weekend, since I need a hat badly. My black felt hat is alright but it shows every little stray hair and piece of lint.

In the meanwhile, inbetween major projects, I've been replenishing my sock drawer as well as using up some of my sock yarn stash.

Anyway, thanks for all the good wishes. Jerry appreciated them, as did I. He read them and was going to comment but was at a loss for words. Pretty damned unusual for him.

With the weather so gawd awful, I'm getting a serious case of cabin fever. One good thing is that I'm feeling quite balanced and focused, despite the urge to go hibernate. I'd say that's normal. Subzero wind chill has never been rare nor handy. I want warm.

Snot Rockets

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:34:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.--Dorothy Parker

It's been awhile since I've used a quote from another unrepentant Jersey girl knitter. Yes, Dot was a knitter.

And if you read the somewhat uninteresting article in this issue of Piecework, so was Eleanor Roosevelt.

I had the great good fortune to meet her in 1961, when she gave a lecture at an Episcopalian church in Upper Montclair, where I grew up. My friend Dottie, whose family belonged to St. James's, was with me, since it was her mother's idea for us to go. Mrs. Roosevelt was Episcopalian and lived in Hyde Park in her Val Kill home at the time, so it's not surprising that she made an appearance in an Upper Montclair church.

I was 11 and being the fearless little girl that I was, stood up during the question and answer period and posed a question to Mrs. Roosevelt about the Russian missile threat. She was incredibly gracious and after the lecture, she thanked me for asking such a good question. I was, and still am, thrilled to have had the honor of meeting her.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Finished the mitts, complete with embroidery. Of course, they're out in the car and I'll be damned if I go down to the garage at night in 10 degree weather. I'll take some pictures of them over the weekend.

The next thing will be Jerry's Aran. I've got it all charted, now I'm waiting for the yarn to come in, since I had to order the right color, which is a medium blue-gray. I did buy one skein just for swatching, though, so I may mess with that next week. I'm really looking forward to this one. In the meanwhile, I'll shoot out a pair of socks or two.

Jeremiah
Snot rockets? Jerry has dared me to write about them and our romance and ship it to eHarmony. I might but this is as good a testing ground as any. As he says, "I KNOW you're going to write about it." Well, I demurred a bit. "It's a bit personal, dontcha think, Jer?" He laughed.

I've mentioned Jerry before but I guess it's time to own up to the whole thing. It is a funny but sweet story of how we met last September.

After some absolutely boring dates over the summer from Match.com, I dumped that service and I sign up for eHarmony, which is the dating service that runs TV ads constantly. Supposedly they match you with the right person. I go through these profiles and I'm going "Feh. Blech. Yuck." If you ever want a good laugh, read some of these profiles, on whatever dating service you choose. I was always tempted to write my profile as a parody:

I love to go walking on the beach, have a candlelit dinner with a bottle of wine. I adore NASCAR and golf and I love to cuddle on the couch while we watch NFL games on Sundays. I'm honest, not a game player, clean, thrifty, and reverent. I love to dress up in heels and go out to dinner.

Yeah, that's me, alright. Sure. If I go to the beach, I'm in the water. I don't drink. I hate NASCAR, don't give a rat's ass about golf. I'll cuddle on the couch but it might lead to more and you'll have to turn off the game. However, I am honest to a fault but incredibly irreverent. So fuck you if you can't take a joke.

And then I get Jeremiah's profile. Oh, cool name, I thought. I start reading it. It's short but at the end, he writes "And my nieces think I'm a pisser."

Yes. This one I'd like to know. So Jerry and I start writing to each other. And then comes the inevitable phone call. We're on the phone for two hours. I'm laughing my ass off. He seems wonderful but...he lives almost 80 miles away, in North Arlington, NJ. Hmmm. A bit far.

We talk again. Again, a great conversation. And I'm thinking, maybe. But then, the shit came down at work and I backed off and told Jerry I was seeing another person. I was scared, to be honest. I realized that my attraction to Jerry, even over the phone, was more than I could handle then. Yeah, another person--Mr. Formula 1, for one hideous lunch date. So I blew a good guy off.

I never stopped thinking about Jerry and then, after dumping eHarmony, I tried SeniorFriendFinder in early November. I'm on it two days and all of a sudden, there's Jerry. He's favorited me. That did it. I e-mailed him and told him I was an idiot to trash him. We met a week later. And we were both done.

Snot rockets...well, just let me say that I can't really write this explicitly but suffice it to say, he threatened to blow some on my back when I smart-assed him in bed. If he wants to write more about it, he can in the Comments.

I'm still laughing about snot rockets. And yes, we love each other very much. I've been waiting for Jerry for a very long time. We're so alike, it's scary, as he says. He's as snarky as I am but a loving, kind sweetheart. We take very good care of each other. He gets me. I get him. He gets the fiber crap. And loves movies, history, current events, hates Bush. What more could a girl want? And I think he's hot.

I never thought that I would find anyone to love again. Jerry, if you're reading this (yes, he does read the blog), I love you so much. There, I said it publicly. Are ya happy? I sure am, ya old fuck. Like George Carlin said, we're old fucks. And rare and handy ones too. He'll be coming to Rhinebeck next October. Forewarned is forearmed. The two of us together are formidable.

German Eyes are Smiling.

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:03:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.--Brendan Behan

One of my favorite Irish writers, along with Joyce and Samuel Beckett. Author of Borstal Boy, which I highly recommend.

Irish poets? Yeats in particular. "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." Another great quote, along with my favorite, "A terrible beauty was born." Reference to the Easter Rebellion of 1916. I do know my Irish history well.

Yes, Jerry is Irish...well, Irish-American. And he really did kiss the Blarney Stone. No shit.

I should have been Irish, given my general high spirits. But I do enjoy being the Anti-German. Sense of humor, sometimes disorganized, occasionally late.

Holiday Madness

We spent most of the holidays together, so I'm just getting back on track now. I met his wonderful sister Pat, and the altogether too smart and sweet nieces, Kelly, Kate, and Michele, on Christmas eve.

(No, Jerry, you do NOT look like a child molester in this picture.)

And then he met my family on Christmas Day. Ye Gods, what a crew.

Ian, mesmerized by his new Wii, Joe (Liz's boyfriend) playing her pink bass, her birthday present from Gram, and the Punk Princess herself.

And my favorite Christmas picture.

Jesus, Jerry, for crissakes, smile the next time someone takes our picture. The necklace I'm wearing in the picture was my Christmas present from him: a blue opal. Gorgeous. And the earrings do light up and flash obnoxiously but I restrained myself. A bit.

Then, the Sunday after Christmas, we did a wonderful road trip to DC. We walked our asses off, doing almost all of the Smithsonian museums.

I loved this sculpture. It turned slowly with the wind.

Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the White House. I did forget my old stinky sneakers anyway. However, the Capitol building was already swathed with scaffolding in preparation for the inauguration.

And finally, the holidays were over and it was back to work.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Well, idiot child left the directions to the Debrow cardigan at Jerry's house, so I had to fish around for a quick project until I can retrieve them tomorrow night. I found a bag of Julia yarn that Kristin Nicholas gave me when I was up at the farm taking pictures for last year's article. (I do have to write K...it's been much too long.)

She gave me the yarn for socks but I decided to make the fingerless mitts from her book, Kristin Knits. This is a great quick project and I desperately despise gloves and mittens. I need to feel my fingers grip the steering wheel, as it were.

I haven't added the embroidery yet--there are two flowers with stems--but I shall, after the other mitt is finished. Julia is distributed by Nashua Handknits of Westminster Fibers and I love this yarn, have used it twice now. Check out the colors. They're all Kristin.

One of these days, I'm going to make those Fair Isle embroidered socks of hers that were in VK back in 2006. I have the issue.

Aran Go Bragh

Yeah, working on Jerry's Aran sweater design, which was part of his Christmas present, an IOU. Right now, I'm charting out the stitch patterns on Knit Visualizer. I've decided to use Dale Falk in a medium blue, to make a lighter weight sweater. This will allow me to use more complex patterns, too. I've got a very nice Celtic braided central panel in mind, which I'm about to chart.

My first sweater was an Aran. Don't ask. I was fearless at 18. Still am, I guess.

So the question of the day is: What's the difference between a braid and a plait in Aran knitting? There is a difference, albeit slight. Those of you who are Aran aficionados will know the answer to this question.

OK, it's almost time to shower my bod and watch CSI. I'm so bummed out that William Petersen is leaving the series. I've loved him since "Manhunter." He's a rare and handy actor, that one.

Jingle Bell-o-rama

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:55:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.--Stephen Fry

I was just thinking the other day about the incredible Christmases I had as a child.

Picture this: Grandparents, who buy all of your toys at FAO Schwarz, show up on Christmas Day with an endless parade of presents. A veritable plethora of packages. My brother Rich and I had combed through the the FAO catalog (which my mother always tried to hide from us, quite unsuccessfully) and made up our equally endless lists for Santa.

You know, my dears, that Santa did all of his finest work at FAO.

However, our toy language consisted of Mattel, Remco, Marx, Topper, Kenner, Ideal, Wham-O. These companies were the gold standard, although I never quite caught the major disconnect between them and Santa's workshop.

My greatest desire when I was 8, was the Remco Firebird dashboard. No, not dolls. Not little teasets. No girly shit. I wanted that fucking dashboard so badly that I would have sold my little 2nd grade soul for it.

Yes, it is the 1958 Firebird 99. It had an ignition key, the horn beeped and the wiper blades worked, ran on batteries.

So on Christmas Day, 1958, I became the proud owner of my first car, as it were. I loved that toy more than anything else I got, which is why I remember it so well. I don't recall experiencing that kind of want again.

And yes, I did own a Daisy Air Rifle, which I also got when I was 8, either for my birthday or for Christmas. God knows why, because my mother was ever the proponent of that fine maxim, "You'll show your eye out." Somehow, I think Daddy may have overridden her vote on that one.

Rich, of course, loved monsters. I'm almost sure he owned the Great Garloo. I'll have to ask him tomorrow.

This toy orgy occurred well before my sister was born in 1962, although I think she does remember some of the Oma and Opa largesse.

These days, I think that the Schacht Ladybug comes close to the Firebird dashboard, in a way. But no adult emotion equals the pure greed of an 8-year-old toy-hungry child with a rapacious appetite.

Do you remember a toy that you wanted so badly you would have eaten dirt to get it? Dirt with worms, of course.

Tomorrow, when we all get together--Rich, Mom, Karen, and me--I know the talk will turn to those magical Christmases. Only we can relate to those times. However, I know Jenn will recall her drool fest over the remote-controlled R2D2. She was nine years old when it came out in 1978 and she wanted that as I had wanted my Firebird.

Did she get it? You bet. Even though Mommy and Daddy had to drive all over fucking New Jersey to find one, since it was the hot toy that year.

It's time for me to get my act together, finish wrapping presents, and then scurry down to North Arlington, NJ to spend Christmas Eve at Jerry's sister Pat's house. Tomorrow, we'll head up to Wharton for Christmas dinner with my family. This will be Jerry's first time meeting them. I'm sure he'll be just fine. He can more than hold his own with anyone, especially me. I've finally found my match.

May you all have a wonderful Christmas or Hannukah, Winter Solstice, Kwaanza, or whatever the fuck you celebrate. No matter what, this is the rarest and handiest season I know, if you make it that way. I just wish the weather would make up its mind. I've had it with snow--ya know what I mean?

Let's Play Shoe Toss!

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 01:27:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
On Christmas day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to cheat him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four--Tom Lehrer

I'm not that cynical. But it seems to me that lately, we're all getting fucked over.

However, I almost wet my panties when I saw Junior duck the shoes. Here's my brilliant thought, something that would be most enjoyable to see for the holidays.

How about getting a shitload of people together, have them bring a pair of their old stinkin' sneakers to the White House, and just lob 'em over the fence? Can you imagine thousands of old shoes on the White House lawn? If that isn't a great parting shot, I don't know what is.

Road trip to DC, anyone? Or shall we wait until the Bush Presidential Port-a-Potty opens in Dallas, since I have realized that a Presidential library must contain books. And that ain't happening with the soon-to-be Dallas Dope.

Evening Quickie Entry
A bit tired tonight--did 8 hours straight at work today so I could get my ass out of there at 4. But I'm still loving it.

Besides spending a bit of time on the phone with Jerry tonight, I managed to eat dinner and knit a few rows on the cardigan. I've sent Jer the URL for this blog. He's already got my number so I doubt he'll be terribly shocked. So be kind to him, if he decides to comment. It's frightening how much alike we are. He'll say the same thing.

I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel moneywise the past few weeks but I think that once the cash starts rolling in, besides stowing a lot of it in the bank, I may get around to buying that Schacht Ladybug. And if not that, I certainly need a new ball winder. I've been ruminating on whether to buy the Nancy's KnitKnacks or Strauch winder. Anyone have a thought on which is better? I have always been happy with the products I've bought from each company but I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Baby Jesus Town
So Scrappy and I took off yesterday for Bethlehem, PA, to go to the Christmas Market. What a blast we had, along with the two nephews, Nick and Alex, who managed not to become excessively bored with their mother and Auntie Marilyn's doings.

If you live in the area, it's worth the trip. Real German Christmas shit. Karen and I were doing our pidgin German routine, which would probably make real Germans vomit. Ja, es schmecht sehr gut! I bought an Advent calendar. A bit late but what the fuck. And we OD'd on potato pancakes and applesauce, too.

And doesn't Karen find a booth run by a woman who was sitting and knitting. She grabs me, drags me into the booth, and the knitter and I had a long chat. She was knitting a hat for felting and we started talking about spinning, something she'd like to do. I gave her the Interweave URL and told her to check out Spin-Off.

And there was a vendor there selling some yarn. I wasn't going for it. Too much like Candide. Anyone remember Candide? The Brillo yarn that makes Philosopher's Wool seem like cashmere?

So, this is really a quick entry. I did have a question to pose for Open Mic Thursday but in my senility, have forgotten what the fuck I wanted to ask. It'll come back to me, I suppose. In the meanwhile, that rare and handy cat, the Divine Miss Cleo, is snoring on the bed. So I'm joining her now.

Whew! Thank you Jeezus!

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 02:18:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. --Jane Austen

Well, yeah. It helps. And so does the new job, with the large salary and the kind of tech writing I love to do. To quote Loopy, "Yay puppies!"

I've gotten back into the swing of work things. I have to say that I am thrilled to have dumped that hideous Slovenian House of Horrors company. Now that I'm working as a consultant for a truly decent company, it's little wonder that I rather fell apart.

I'm good now. Fucking good. I love the new job. And...I have a new partner in crime, a wonderful man who's loving, funny, attentive, and a total piece of work. Jeremiah, aka Jerry. He's my Irish God. We've been seeing each other for a while now--it actually began in September but really got going a month ago. Heh. Suddenly, everything fell into place.

So don't worry. I'm actually feeling better than I have in eons. And if you really need to know what I'm up to, I've finally gotten up to speed on Facebook, which I find is a quick and easy way to let my friends and family know where I'm at. I think I'm going to upload my Rhinebeck pictures there. For some reason, I've not had any interest in going on Ravelry. Partly because I had been so busy and partly because I'd rather spend my free time actually knitting rather than fucking around online.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Yeah, I've been doing it. No, not that "it." Well, maybe. "It" can mean whatever. I've been making some decent progress on the Mari Dembrow Cables and Twists cardigan. Finished the back, working on the left front.

I like Dembrow's designs. They're interesting classics and nicely shaped. Mammy turned me onto this one from Yarn Barn's catalog, so I decided to bite. As it turned out, Loop had bought the same pattern awhile back. I charted the cables on KnitVisualizer.

Pawing through my bookcases, I found Dembrow's book, Better Sweaters, which was first published back in 1986. It's a useful little book, well written with a sense of humor. Not that you may need another how-to book, but if you come across it, add it to your library.

There's something to be said about Dembrow's method of knitting somewhat tighter than normal. I find that I like it. Her cabled designs are all gauged for tighter work. On this cardigan, I hit her gauge for the worsted weight on #5s. This gives the cables even better definition but does not make the fabric board-like.

My next project was going to be the Gansey shawl. It may still be, although I'm tempted to design Jerry an Aran, despite the stoopid boyfriend crap. (Although that did happen to me years ago, when I designed a gansey for the Nasty German and he dumped me before I had a chance to give it to him.) Whether it's the shawl or the Aran, I'm going to tighten up the gauge a la Dembrow.

Presents for the Knitting Me

Well, I already got Franklin's book at Rhinebeck. Did you know that all the Wolvies are in the book? What a fabulous tribute! You'll find each of our names in the book. Mine is a bit tricky, so see if you can find it. I gave a copy to my mother, who loved it and laughed her ass off. I can't wait to see his next book. Snap it up, boy.

One of my favorite Christmas knitting presents was the bunch of stitch markers that Scrappy gave me two years ago. I use them all the time. There's something nice about having quasi-jewelry hanging from your needles.

What I'd really like Santa to bring this year is the Schacht Ladybug. But that ain't happening.

Scroogette

Not really. I adore Christmas, always have and always will. But I have this dinky little artificial tree on my coffeetable and that's the best I can do this year. This sucks big time. I want a damned big honking real tree. But that will be remedied.

I'm going back to Jersey next spring. I need a larger place, plus my new job may be moving to Mt. Olive, where I used to live when Jimmy was alive. That's where I had planned to go before I got the new job. Now, it's definite. I just can't get used to Pennsyltucky. I miss my old 'hood. Besides, my friend BJ lives in the same complex where I'd like to live.

I need room for my loom, room for my dining room set, room for a damned couch in a decent-sized livingroom. Having the loom folded up in my bedroom here is a fucking pain in the ass. I'm sick of moving but maybe this will do it. I've been floating around since Jimmy died and that's almost seven years ago. It's time for this will o' the wisp to settle down. And continue her rare and handy life.

Back from the Misty World

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:34:00 +0000

My God, it's been almost a month since I posted.

To everyone who wrote me, thanks so much for caring. Yes, I was in the depths, seriously. A few days after Rhinebeck, I could tell I was diving deep. Triggered by my insane schedule. I was warned this would happen by my doctor but it's the paycheck that kept me going, until I could go no more.

That said, I'm back. And much better. I never give up fighting the good fight. And there's some really excellent news. From all things bad, comes good. I will no longer be doing what I have been doing. I'm going to a new tech writing job, one that pays a ton more money and is much saner. No more travel, no whacky Europeans, no fucked-up non-processes. A very well-known pharmaceutical company. The nightmare is over.

Sedated Knitting

So yeah, while I've been out on medical leave, I pretty much sat and knit this incredibly boring worsted-weight shawl. All seed stitch. Loopy couldn't imagine me doing this. But then, she wasn't taking a shitload of drugs, either. This is a Kathy Zimmerman design from the Vogue On the Go Shawl book 2. I just took the pattern and used it with a pile of leftover Morehouse 3-ply I had in the stash. I wanted something heavier, that would go well with jeans.

Then there are the Noro socks I took to the doctor's office, so that I didn't have to read a 3-month old edition of People.

The other is on the needles. Cuz I ain't done with waiting rooms.

But I knew I was repaired yesterday when I started this Mari Dembrow sweater.

Swatched, hit gauge on the first try, and started the back.

When I say that knitting keeps me together, it's very true. If I ever stop, just dig a hole for me.

And I did finish the Princess cardigan in time for Rhinebeck.

Me and my peeps. And me in the cardigan. I did take a lot of pictures at Rhinebeck, of everyone and everything, which I'll eventually stick into a PowerPoint slide show.

The Giftie Mags

I admit, I buy these, even though I have absolutely no intention of knitting gifts for Christmas presents. I rarely knit gifts, although I've done socks for the family on occasion. Working myself into a frazzle over knitting some stoopid scarf for a gift is not something I care to do.

I must say, both IK and Vague gift issues were uninteresting, with the exception of a Brandon Mably jacket and Deborah Newton cardigan in VK. However, in the winter issue of IK, due out shortly, there is a lovely cardigan by Laura Grutzeck, co-author of Knit So Fine, called Ropes and Picots. I particularly like the saddle shoulder shaping.

Cardigan and Finishing Fixations

I've pretty much let my lace knitting go for the time being, simply because I miss making garments. And I find that cardigans suit my lifestyle and figure much better than pullovers. How many airy-fairy shawls do I need?

I love the whole finishing process of a garment. Many years ago, I did finishing work for local yarn shops to earn extra money. And there's no question that my sewing background helped.

But more than that, long before hand knitters were using mattress stitching, 3-needle bind-offs, and other finishing techniques, machine knitters were doing all of these, as well as "cut and sew" on cardigan fronts, necklines, etc. From 1981 until the early '90s, I was a dedicated machine knitter, with two Brother machines, plus a Passap Duomatic 80.

I learned much about finishing from the machine knitting books, especially how to block properly. When you take a piece off of the knitting machine, it has to be blocked, due to the stress on the fabric from the weights and the stretching over the needle bed.

I believe that the finishing process is an act psychologically separate from knitting and shaping the fabric. And one that gives me enormous satisfaction. There's nothing better than a nicely finished garment. Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

Liz Update

My girl is starting to look at colleges. Can you believe it? I can't. Shit, she's a junior in high school now, headed for art college. Still doing the marching band thing. I went to see her band compete a few weeks ago in the Northeast Regional competition. They came in fourth, pretty damned good. Liz is playing the quints this year, those five little drums. And she's the shortest kid in the band, so you can easily find her in the crowd. I love seeing her in that uniform. She looks like a little tin soldier.

She's still my Punk Princess. Yes, there is a ring in her lip and a stud in her nose. And the bandana is a nice touch. When I see her, I'm always reminded of myself at that age. Musical, artsy, rebel. Take no prisoners. One rare and handy kid, forever my love.

Rock On to Rhinebeck

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:11:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I suppose I have a lot of friends because I frequently think out loud in front of an awful lot of people.

Certainly, this blog is an exercise in thinking out loud.

So, it's late, I've been traveling, working, and ready to get my ass to Rhinebeck. There's been little opportunity in the past two weeks to write anything other than technical shit, as well as a Request for Proposal, some ad copy, and bug reports because our software sucks.

I have little patience for people who have a fucking la-di-da attitude about their work.

But the sun is rising on my little world. I'm going to see my Wolvies on Saturday! I last saw Carol and Franklin in April, at Franklin's photo shoot down in Kennett Square, PA. Haven't seen Joe since last November. And Lisa McNulty, the unsung but fabulous Wolvie, will be there too.

Then there's my beloved Ted, Lars the best Norsky Bear in the World, Dr. Mel and his David, and a host of other people I know, like B.J., Alice, Fredda, and others about whom I'm having a Florida moment.

The one person I will truly miss this year will be Lee Ann. She's not coming, much to my great sadness. Dude, you'll be in my thoughts.

Now hear this (former Navy wife talking): Do not be afraid to come up to me and say hello. It saddens me when readers get all weirded out about approaching me. What, do you think I'm going to have you for breakfast? Nah, I love meeting you guys. Just yell out my name and I'll respond. With a smile. Promise. In case you've forgotten what I look like, here's my mug.

This was taken last year at Rhinebeck (that's Mel with his arm around me).

See you all Saturday. And for those who can't make it, I'll be putting up plenty of pictures Sunday night.

Yes, I did finish the Princess jacket. Pictures of that forthcoming, too. The sleeves were very rare and not particularly handy but I made them work. You'll see.

Sarah Palin Crapalong

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:19:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?--Sarah Palin

I can't help myself. I haven't had this much fun during a presidential campaign, ever. Glued to the news at night. And tonight's the big comedy show, too!

OK, I'm no PhotoShop pro--I leave that to the Punk Princess. But she does look well in Camo, dontcha think?

Open Mic Thursday

I'm thinking it's time for a Crapalong. Haven't done one of those in a long time. I rather like the idea of fugly knitting a la Palin, but I could do a lot with this. Rather than scratch my brain, though, I'll put it out for you all in this week's topic:

What kind of a political Crapalong would you like to see?

It would start this Friday, end on Election Day. I'll give the winner something. If you have ideas, be sure to be as specific as possible. I'll choose the best one on Friday and post their name and their concept. Unless I decide I like mine the best.

It's good to be a petty dictator.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Not much, other than beating the Princess jacket to death. I've been working on that steadily, in the hopes of having it finished by Rhinebeck. I'll make it--the final front is almost done, with a sleeve and the collar to knit. And then the finishing, which is only seaming. That's no BFD.

I will put up a picture of the finished garment. I find WIP pictures somewhat boring. Same shit, different day department.

The KC's Fiber Kids Challenge

I want to thank those of you who have donated to this cause. I have given to each one, since I chose them. Thanks to Jennifer, Elizabeth, and Stefanie for their generosity! Every little bit helps, so if you haven't donated, please do. Of course, we have the entire month of October, so I know that sometimes ya gotta wait until payday. I sure do, most of the time.

Well, it's now October and I'm jonesin' for my fiber festivals. I still haven't made up my mind about going to B'more for Stitches. I find SOAR and Rhinebeck infinitely handy and certainly rare, since they come once a year, like Christmas. (I get that same rush of excitement going to these events as I did at Christmas as a kid.)

The Kids Are Alright!

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 04:01:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble--Mark Twain

This picture is on my desk, always. It's one of my very favorites and although I think I've put it up on the blog before, it's especially appropriate for today's entry. God knows when Grandma called my entire name, I was in deep shit.

My beloved Grandma, Constance Carsten, or Connie, as she was known to all and sundry, taught in the Staten Island, NY school system for 45 years. (Much to Grandma's disappointment, I did not want to become a teacher. Somehow, I ended up as an editor and then a writer and trainer. So maybe she's not disappointed now.) Grandma died in 1985, a few weeks short of her 90th birthday. At her funeral, tons of her former students showed up. An amazing tribute to an amazing woman, who was an enormous influence on me and so many others.

Recently, I was contacted by DonorsChoose.org, an organization that raises money for teachers who want to give their kids something more. They're sponsoring Blogger Challenge '08, which begins today and runs through the end of October. I agreed to participate because I remember my grandmother doing whatever she could for her students. And I love kids.

So what's the deal? I've chosen six different teachers and their projects, all wanting to teach their students how to weave. Four of the six teach in high poverty areas. If you go here, you can read about Blogger Challenge '08. Fortune Magazine just ran an article about it.

This is the first time I've ever asked readers to contribute money. I would not support something bogus, as you well know. This is a very worthwhile cause. Look around and if you see any other worthwhile projects that I may have missed, e-mail me.

I'm asking you all to dig in your pockets, even if it's just a dollar or two. I don't think that there's any question that the arts in schools have gotten the short end of the stick. I remember that I did some weaving back in grade school, on a very simple student loom. But I came from a wealthy community.

So what's the payoff for you? Here's what I'll do. If each of my Giving Groups reach $100 or more, I will buy some Red Heart Camo, make a really fugly hat, and have Super Jeenyus photograph me wearing it.

Now THAT'S a fucking sacrifice. I'm willing to make a total ass outta myself for kids. And why not? Who better?

Given that we've trashed Caribou Barbie, I think that the Camo is apropos. A lot of you mentioned it in the last entry's comments. Yuck. The mere thought of knitting with that crap gives me metaphysical hives.

So look at the sidebar and you'll see the ad for The KC's Fiber Kids Challenge. Click and give. And thanks to you rare and handy readers. Most of whom have kids themselves, no doubt.

And thank you, Grandma. And all the teachers out there. (Except for Mrs. Schmidt, my 6th grade teacher, who was a witch. Dottie shared in my torture.)

Palin Drone

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:37:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities."--Bill Maher

I'll leave my thoughts about this week's economic morass to Super Jeenyus, if he gets off his ass and writes something for our blog. Otherwise, I may be forced to spew.

Palinesque Open Mic Thursday
I must admit, I was amused at Joe's post comparing me and Carol to Caribou Barbie:

I know it's odd, but I've always liked strong, opinionated women who are well-spoken and a bit sarcastic. I mean really, aren't Carol and Marilyn a little like Sarah? "

Sure. Very little. I do seek out the facts before I open my mouth and proclaim my words the Gospel truth. And I would argue that Sarah ain't quite as well spoken as we two are. After all, I've had plenty of experience with public speaking. When you are a technical trainer, you're on stage in front of strangers. You'd fucking better have the answers to their questions as well. God knows Carol can hold her own, too. You don't want to get into a pissing contest with her, either. After all, she does hold a law degree from the University of Michigan, right C?

The sarcasm of this half-baked Alaskan soccer mom is grist for my mill.

I see Caribou Barbie as the worst sort of KnitDweeb ever. I really hope to God she doesn't knit. If she does, I'd sure love to see some of her stuff.

So, my skanks, use your imagination.

What would Sarah Palin knit?

It's almost as good as WWJK, dontcha think? I'm sure there are plenty of KnitDweeb-worthy projects out there that you can find or conjure up. I see her using LB Homespun, that fine, folksy ackrilic crap. You know, faux wool. Just as she's faux almost everything.

By the way, I simply can't vote for someone who consistently ends her sentences with prepositions. As in her unintelligible interview tonight with Katie Couric, where she babbled:

I see our country being able to represent those things that can be looked to � as that leadership, that light needed across the world.

Huh?

Obligatory Knitting Shit
This week, it's been work as usual--manuals, manuals, manuals. And a reasonable amount of knitting done. Three pieces to the Princess jacket finished, on the right front, with a sleeve to go. And some minor spinning activity. That's about it.

When I have a chance, possibly this weekend, I'll take some pictures of the Loden Mist Jacket, which is finished. I'm happy with the fit, although I'm a bit concerned about wearing it here and there, since it's a mite fragile.

Still biting away at Rock Sox, plus the autobiography. It seems that the ratio of writing to knitting is 10:1, or so. In many ways, it's easier to sit at the computer and write, especially if I've been doing it most of the day, anyway.

But the books are moving along. Maybe they'll be done in time for my 60th birthday, which Ellie takes great delight in reminding me that it's only a year and a half away. Fortunately, at the doctor's yesterday, he made the wonderful mistake of asking me if I had any premenapausal problems. This dialogue followed:

Me: Um, no, Dr. B.
Dr. B.: Why not?
Me: Because I'm five years into menopause.
Dr. B: Oh, I thought you were 46. Let me check your chart. Ah, 1950. My, you don't look your age at all.
Me: Thanks! It's always good to fool your doctor.

It's one thing when your friends tell you that you look great. But a doctor? That's creditable.

Close Encounters of the Weird Kind
I was down in Lambertville/New Hope last Sunday on a lunch date with a very lovely man. We had a fabulous time. As he walked me to my car later in the afternoon, someone called out my name and I turned around. There were two women and two men standing to my right. One of the women said, "Hi Marilyn! I read your blog all the time. I didn't want to bother you in the restaurant but I really wanted to say hi." Well, I was quite taken aback but truly thrilled. Hey, Susan from Roxbury, it was so nice to meet you! I always enjoy meeting readers and I can't wait for Rhinebeck. Please, hit me on the head and say hello.

I only bite assholes. Really.

Weaving?
I've been pining for my loom, which remains folded up in my bedroom. There's no likelihood that I can unfold it to warp it, either. So my fix is this: I'm going to buy a rigid heddle loom, hopefully at Rhinebeck. Any recommendations? I'm looking closely at the Kromski Harp, but would like the weavers among you to give me your opinions.

I need to do some weaving and it's driving me nuts that I can't. Super Jeenyus suggested that I put the Mighty Wolf out on the back porch, where I'd have more room. Sure, that's bright. Let the elements have their way with it. He can be rare and handy, when his mind doesn't trip over his shoelaces. Christ.

Three's a Charm?

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:30:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.--Gloria Steinem

Well, often when I'm writing for work, I feel like I should be mopping the kitchen floor.

Otherwise, I don't give a rat's ass about anything else in the proverbial queue when I'm writing for me. Including the kitchen floor.

Recently I threatened to bring Super Jeenyus into the blogging world. It's a done deal now and I may have opened a major Pandora's Box. Yes, Super Jeenyus & Wabbette is up and running. I wrote the first entry yesterday and Neal was hot on my heels, after I showed him how to use Blogger.

My boy has a lot to say and frankly, I hear it every night. Now it's your turn. We are admitted news junkies. News time is sacred. No phones are answered. But it's always the Super Jeenyus and Wabbette running commentary, the flavor of which has been translated into a blog. I daresay that Neal is a fine writer, and I've been up his ass for a long time about putting his mouth on cyber paper. (Of course, he can't spell to save his life but then, he's an audio guy, so cut him some slack.)

So come on over and feel free to scourge the budding blogger. Or me. As it is here, we welcome intelligent comments and debate. He's as opinionated as I am. If not worse. But he's already beat me up about my use of profanity in print. Like he doesn't say those words, ever. Hmph. Fuck you.

Gansey Star
Jeez, you never know who you'll run into when you're shopping in E'burg. Last Saturday, I spent a few hours running around doing some shopping in preparation for my trip to Iowa. I needed #6 circs because my KnitPicks pair kept coming unscrewed on the Princess cardigan and it was driving me nuts.

One block from my apartment is Mountain Knits and Pearls, a lovely little yarn shop and the only one in the Poconos. So I stopped in to grab my needles. And who was there, teaching?

Beth Brown-Reisel. Whoa. The shop owner, Joanne, graciously invited me into the class and I finally got to meet Beth. When I designed the Nasty German's Gansey, almost six years ago, it was Beth's book that kept me on track.

One of my next planned projects is to design a Gansey-patterned shawl in Harrisville Shetland 2-ply. I want a heavier weight shawl and it had occurred to me that doing a Gansey shawl would not only be a challenge but something that would work great with jeans, my usual preferred outfit. I threw this past Beth and she thought it was a great idea. And gave me some advice, too. Which I will take, with many thanks.

So you just never know who in the knitting world might be lurking about your town on any given Saturday.

Open Mic Thursday
I do a hell of a lot of knitting when traveling, be it on plane or train. On Monday, I flew from Allentown to Chicago to Des Moines on business and the knitting was constant. Inevitably, a flight attendant will make a comment, as will fellow travelers. Nine times out of ten, the comment ends with "That's beautiful but I'd NEVER have the patience to do that."

My theory is that not having "patience" to do something often equates to fear of trying something new. Or simply not wanting to be bothered. Many years ago, when I was in junior high school, I felt that way about sewing. Once I gave it a shot because I wanted to have a greater choice in the clothes I wore, I learned to be patient and follow all the steps. Like pressing open seams, something that I found a complete bore at 14 but learned to do at 16.

There are still crafts for which I will claim I have no patience. Or interest. Specifically, needlepoint, which I have done and found uninteresting. My sister does scrapbooking. I couldn't be bothered. I don't have the "patience."

For what craft or needlework do you not have patience?

(I really don't like ending sentences with prepositions, if I can help it. So forgive the formal wording.)

I'm probably never going to do candlewicking, either.

Rhinebeck Cometh
I need this so badly. I haven't seen anyone since Franklin's 1000 Knitters photo shoot last April, when I got to see him and Carol.

So, who all of you are going? I'll do the Rhinebeck Bingo again this year. It's fun to meet readers. As Joe always says, I'm much nicer in person than he is and he's much nicer in print than I am. This is true. I wouldn't argue with my gay brother. Much. And I'm thrilled that Knitterguy Ted is coming again. That makes it all the more special. I know Mel will be there, with David. I'm aiming to be their first customer again this year.

October is Fiber Month for me. The Garden State Sheep Breeder show October 3-4, then the SOAR market the following Saturday at Pocono Manor (can't do the workshop/retreat this year, maybe next), and then Rhinebeck.

Some rare and handy events. But no Stitches. I'm very done with that. Don't even know when it is this year. And don't care.

Blood, Smoke, and Tears

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 04:01:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan.--Martin Luther King

A soft-minded man has led us down the primrose path. Seven years ago today, as we wept for the lost souls of the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and Flights 127, 11, and 93, we were all as one, waiting for the leadership that never materialized from a man who spoke loud words of hope and unity that day and then wasted our faith and togetherness as a country. May God forgive him. I don't know that I can. We must regain that faith in ourselves as a country united.

For the past few years, I've written a September 11th entry. It will forever be a day of mourning and remembrance for me, as it should be for all Americans. As I walk by the Hudson River on my way to my Jersey City office, I can never again view the New York skyline with innocent eyes. The eyes of a little girl who was born in New York City, who loved to watch the great liners sail down the Hudson to the sea, danced up and down the sidewalks while her grandmother remonstrated, who stared up at the skyscrapers in total amazement, and who ran the halls of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, looking for the mummies. The city of my birth and my childhood happinesses.

I was thinking about that day in 2001 yesterday on my way to work in JC. And remembering it exactly. Because after all, in my life, there have been too many of these times that have been forever burned into my brain, each with its own cerebral minute-by-minute video. The assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy, John Lennon. And the horrifying deaths of 2,974 people on that sunny, magnificent September day.

My day started out like everyone else's, probably. Got up, showered, kissed Jimmy good-bye, and off we both went to work. I was working at the corporate offices of The Chubb Institute at the time, a proprietary computer school system headquartered in Parsippany, NJ, a scant 27 miles from Manhattan. Jimmy had recently started a new job as a marine designer at an engineering firm in Scotch Plains, a fair distance from Parsippany.

My boss, Pat, and I had a very early conference call with a vendor in Baltimore that morning--8:30. We locked ourselves up in his office and started the call. Suddenly, about a half hour into the call, one of our vendor's employees said, "Oh my God, a plane crashed into the World Trade Center." Jesus! I ran out to my desk, where the phone was ringing. It was the wife of my previous boss there, looking for him. She had been watching TV and told me that it looked as if it was an attack, not an accident. Could I find her husband for her and have him call her?

I found her husband glued to a computer, looking at the dreadful first images on the internet. Everyone was wandering around, dazed, frightened, confused. And then the internet was jammed up. When the second tower was hit and then the Pentagon, we were told to leave the building immediately and go home.

The local state highway was jammed with people desperate to get home. I tried to call Jimmy on my cellphone and couldn't get through. I had no idea where he was, whether the attacks were going to continue, and if we were all going to die. The cellphone lines were jammed, too.

When I got home, I called my children, made sure they were safe, and then turned on the TV. Shortly thereafter, Jimmy walked through the door. I cried tears of relief and we sat down together to watch the horror.

In the days after, I watched the widows and bled for them and their children, little realizing that it would be a scant four months before I joined their ranks. To lose a husband was unimaginable. To lose a beloved son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, who had gone to work as innocently as I had that morning, in an inferno that was caused by hatred-driven fanatics, was beyond anyone's comprehension. And still is. At least Jimmy died far more easily. I take comfort from that. Those who lost someone on September 11, 2001, cannot.

So since it is Open Mic Thursday, let's do this:

Share your remembrances and thoughts of September 11, 2001.

Write as much as you'd like. Some days, knitting just doesn't count for much in the scheme of life.

No matter what your beliefs may be, today is a day to speak to your higher power and remember the lost and their families. The politicization of this sacred day by the Republican Party is anathema. As Keith Olbermann said last night in his Special Comment: 9/11 TM. The disgusting video shown at the RNC, calculated to inculcate fear and terror, is indicative of their shabby, opportunistic, Rovian methods. Let's be the Can-Do nation again and rise up against tactics of fear, as a tribute to the dead of 9/11, if nothing else.

Media-crity

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 15:18:00 +0000

Best Quote I Heard All Day
If I'd written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people - including me - would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism. --Hunter S. Thompson

Other than Keith Olbermann, I'm convinced that most journalists have lost the ability to do true investigative reporting. Media-crity rules.

The truth is, there's a lot more to learn about Caribou Barbie, methinks. Will the media end its fixation on her pregnant daughter and start thumping away at the real issues?

I no longer have hopes that the media will return to its long-ago level of competence. Why? Super Jeenyus, in his ellipsical way, said it perfectly and passionately in an e-mail to someone who wrote a long treatise to him on the sorry shape of the media. And I quote verbatim, ellipses, e-mail shouting, and all:

There is an even MORE important reason for the lack of depth in current media, particularly TV and Radio. I worked in Radio and network Television for almost 30 years starting in the mid 70's. In 1976, you were only allowed to own 7 of each AM, FM and TV stations nation wide and NO MORE than one newspaper in any city that you had those 3 already.

Ownership regulations for these outlets has been removed allowing the current configuration of corporate ownership...that ALL the 5 major networks, ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and CNN as well as just about all others and most of the radio stations in the US are owned, operated or controlled economically by 3 corporate conglomorates, Time/Warner, Disney and News Corp. Think about who has been responsible for the gutting of those regulations...and who has profited???

There's been some discussion about doing a Super Jeenyus and Wabbette political blog, Wabbette being me. Yes, there is a Looney Tunes connection.

We'll see. Lately, I've been consumed by my obsession with politics. But with the little free time I have, I don't know that I could add a third blog to my palette. Tough enough to write for the two I have.

Outrageous Copyright Infringement

[Note: This has now been resolved. And I publicly admit that I over-reacted. I have removed this piece and apologized to Cass. However, her readers, who have slobbered all over the comments, are not welcome.]

So WTF Have I Been Doing?

I wish less work-related writing. I thought I was done with travel. No. And that's OK. After all, they do give me money every two weeks. The week after next, I'll be spending three days in Des Moines. Next week, possibly a run to Connecticut. I yearn for the day when I can spend all of my time writing about what matters to me: fiberart, mental health issues, and politics.

However, I have gotten a fair amount of important shit done, like finishing the Loden Mist jacket, one sleeve, two side seams to go.

I'm close to finishing the back to the Princess jacket. The color is a bit off--it's a much richer burgundy and not so much a barn red.

Having made the corrections to the directions, fixed the one chart that was wrong, and redoing all of the hand-drawn charts on Knit Visualizer, I'm probably going to give them to Kraemer Yarns when I have a chance. I've already sent the charts to a couple of readers who have expressed interest. Shoot me an e-mail if you want them.

Stuff

The classic George Carlin routine, always worth watching. Simply substitute the word "yarn" for "stuff" when you watch. It works for me.

So living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment now, do I need more stuff? Sure. There's a fabulous antique market in Stroudsburg, the Olde Engine Works Market Place, where I went the other week to sniff out old buttons and old knitting pamphlets or magazines. Topeka.

The white buttons are of course plastic. But I thought very nice. The metal buttons above did not photograph as well. They are actually silver, not the weird mult-color that the flash produced.

But this booklet was a real find, published in 1939 by The Spool Cotton Company. A little Googling determined who this company was.

I'm making those gloves, even though I've had problems crocheting with the ole CTS. Never mind, I want them. Too fucking funky.

Flogging the Public Domain

Yikes, I've been asked to produce Knitting Curmudgeon quotes on shit. As you all know, I have in the past eschewed doing stuff like that. But WTF. So I'll do the Cafe Press thing, I suppose. Watch this space for info. "Shut Up, I'm Counting" will definitely be one quote.

Hippo Bird-day to You, Mater

MarilynRoberts0425@gmail.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:16:00 +0000

Best Quote I Ever Heard

Be quiet, Marilyn! I'm counting!--Eleanor Meyer

Yes, I have many things for which to thank my mother. This is one of them, although Mammy never said, "Shut up, I'm counting!" She hated "shut up" when I was a kid. I wasn't quite as circumspect with my own children, however.

So today marks my mother's 85th birthday. I sent her flowers. She spent the day running around, picking up her prescriptions, going to the municipal building to pay a parking ticket, and then over to the eye doctor to pick up her new glasses.

And she's swatching for yet another lace shawl. So what's your excuse, skanks? This is probably my favorite picture of her, taken Christmas 2006 at Scrappy's, the pose that is the Essence of Ellie (which, incidentally, my sister informs me, is how she spells it--who knew?)

Happy Birthday, Ma. I love you muchly and I treasure our time together knitting and talking yarn and patterns. Thanks for teaching me the proper way to grouch and to knit, usually simultaneously. And if you think she and I are pros, you would have loved Grandma, who was the ultimate in cantankery. But loved me, her Dolly. Awhile back, I did a Curmudgeon family tree. I think it's time to republish it. The women were all cranky. And I suppose my sister will now beg to be added. (When you hit 50, Karen. That's the coming of age for all curmudgeonly women, I believe.)

Kraemer vs. Kraemer
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Last week I took a quick trip to Nazareth, PA (or Baby Jesus Town, as Super Jeenyus calls it). Kraemer Yarns has been there for more than 100 years. I'd been there before, maybe 15 years ago. But now that the Loden Mist Jacket pieces are finished and awaiting blocking this weekend, I decided that I rather liked Kathy Zimmerman's Princess Jacket and drove down Rte. 33 to check out the yarn and the jacket in person.

It was in the last P'works catalog, done in Kraemer's Summit Hill, a lush 100% merino worsted weight that is almost orgasmic to knit. The model is done in a French blue, a little darker in real life than in the picture. I'm doing it in a nice burgundy. Because the blue was just too insipid for me. (Those sleeves do look horrifically long, do they not?)

The pattern is free from Kraemer's. This link is to the .pdf. However, there is a huge caveat. The charts are hand drawn and difficult to read. I redid the large charts. No big deal using Knit Visualizer. But as I cast on for the back and started reading the directions, I immediately found four glaring errors without having knit a stitch.

This does not bode well. So I immediately marked up my copy and I will let the nice folks at Kraemer's know about these and any other screwups that I find. And give them my charts so they can replace them. This is too nice a garment to be ruined by errors. If you plan on making this, let me know and I'll be happy to send you the charts too.

In any case, they are making very nice yarns. Great colors, quality fibers, lots of different weights. For all you Pennsyltuckians in the area, it's worth a trip. Stop by and say hi to Eileen. She's a sweetheart and very helpful.

Open Mic Thursday

To recap last week's Open Mic, I'd say that Magic Loop got majorly trashed. I tried it and it's on my list, too. However, having said that, I suppose it could be of some use for circular sleeves if you leave your dps at home. I don't do that. I'm very careful to pack what knitting crap I need when I leave home, including shit I probably don't need. Plus, if you learned how to manipulate dps, chances are you're perfectly happy with them. If it ain't broke.

I also eschew double knitting. Total waste of time in my book. As I always say, try it once and know that it exists as a possibility. Then leave it alone. Your knitting life will not necessarily be enriched by torturing yourself.

Well, this week, I have Joe's latest post to thank because it got me thinking more deeply about something that's always been very apparent to me. As one of his readers, Andy's Crafts, so deftly put it, the sexualization of crafts.

I have a lot of male friends who knit and spin: Joe, Ted, Franklin, Lars, Mel, James, to name a few. (Guys, I'm not linking to your blogs because I'm really tired tonight and don't want to fuck around with URLs.) Yes, they are all gay men. However, we all became friends because we're knitters, first and foremost. How they use their other equipment don't make no never-mind to me.

The sexual typecasting that seems to surround certain crafts always astonishes me. Why is it that weaving is "OK" for straight guys and knitting is not? Is weaving more "manly"? I guess bobbin lace is out for straight guys too. Oh yeah, don't forget that Rosey Grier made needlepoint "OK" too. Sheesh.

So, I'd like you to opine about this, be you straight, gay, or an alien from Plan 9 from Outer Space.

What are your thoughts on the sexualizing of crafts?

This is a broad topic, admittedly. But an important one because it leeches into society in general. Or perhaps it's the other way around. No matter. I'd be interested in hearing thoughts from my lezzie friends too, although I don't believe this affects women, other than in their acceptance of men who knit.

I'm sure that those of you who have read Richard Rutt know that men only were allowed into the medieval knitting guilds. Knitting was a serious business, particularly when Elizabeth I started buying knitted silk stockings and helped fund the rise of the knitting loom. Once knitting became mechanized, hand knitting reverted into a domestic craft done primarily by women.

Read Joe's blog. And the comments. It's very interesting stuff.

Punk Princess Driving Miz Grammy

Update. Didn't happen. She can't drive with me because I'm not a NJ driver anymore. So she was a bit disappointed. However, Gram did buy her a shocking pink bass guitar with amp for her 16th birthday.

And Gram bought herself a guitar. Yes, I did. Because I did once play and I'm amazed at how much I do remember. After all, I did so want to be Chrissie Hynde. Truly. It's perfectly OK to rock on when you're 58. Rare and handy? Perhaps. Adolescent? Certainly. But girls just wanna have fu-un.